~ANOTHER Random Promotion to Give!?~

Oh, it was a lovely day in Gelemort! After visiting Creta, Amestris, Carraig, and Drachma, it was GREAT to be here! And he had some lovely business to take care of; he was to choose from a list of potential leaders of Fort Rose, the most famous, and most important, Gelemortian infantry base. Located in Mt. Jilliane, named after its founder's daughter-in-law, this base was the most well defended in Gelemorte, and the source of their infantry and cavalry, which, unbeknownst to most, were among the most elite in all of the world. Not as powerful as the Gelemortian Navy, but their terrestrial soldiers were still pretty special. So he entered the base, where a number of soldiers were lined up. Passing by each of them, he greeted them, exchanged a bit of small talk, and asked a series of questions. Soon, he came to a girl. Her name was Vijaya, by the looks of her name tag. But he couldn't be sure, since her name tag was WAAAAAAY up THERE! "Eyyo there, miss. Youse is certainly a tall girl, y'know. Could you lean down a bit for me, soes I can be a bit closer t'eye level? Hehe." With a grin, he carried on, asking questions after whatever response she gave. "So, if you were head of Fort Rose, whaddaya think you'd do here? Why would I make you head of my base?" Looking cheerfully into her eyes, still a mile above him, he wished to know how she would lead his base. Thus far, answers to this first question have included "I'll look out for the troops", "I'll make sure I do my best for Gelemort", and "I'll lead Gelemort to victory!" So perhaps she'd have something different to say...

Potential asessment. Or whatever them higher-ups called it. Not like she volunteered for participation in this or something, but some super must have thought it to be a good idea to recommend the laziest, most slacking soldier they could find for this personal task of the Country-Leader. So there they stood, lined up in the place at Jilliané, uniforms, posture straight like a pole, VJ overshadowing all of them and all that. Yesh indeed, there was no one recorded in the national army, who has ever been taller, be it in past times or currently, so it was natural for all the guys and some girls to be kinda short in comparison.
She knew Wolfgang was a crazy man. Probably, she as many others, would never recognize him if they met on the street by chance, but naturally his name and reputation were well known. “Knowing my luck and this person's character, I may end up actually getting appointed to something.” she thought, when the kinda short Man went along the line of soldiers, hailing from different divisions, showing random interest for some of them and asking them classic stuff. Surely she'd be asked too, literally sticking out that much. And sure did. Wolfgang was the country's main and sole ruler after all, so nervousness couldn't be avoided, as well as it's signs. Slight tendency to sweat and shake, mostly. But the tall One pulled together as much as the mind and body would allow, hoping to make clear speech, not that she was worried about what to say. This, she already knew; say what's on her mind, like always. Unfiltered and direct. So when the predictable moment came, Vijay got down for him like adults do with kids – one knee to the floor, hand on the other – without comment, action alone would suffice as an answer for the first question, because it was way obvious as it brought them to eye level almost. The next questions followed, as expected – these things always go by the same predictable routine.
“The first thing, sir?” It was a rhetorical question, at best, so she went on, without getting or even waiting for his response. “The very first thing i'd do would be adapting doorframes. And chairs. And desks. And most other furniture. I don't want to go with a place that sucks to physically stay in, sir.” Oh noes, that really went out totally unfiltered and before even thinking it over at least half a time. As serious as it was meant. “My excels lie in humiliating people in fair match and punching heads in. I figure that may be useful in certain situations of life, sir.” That also. She sure did what she always does. Go all straight with them thoughts, no whitewashing or other nonsense. But maybe that wouldn't be so good this time. Then again, she really did not want this promotion to whatever it was they were lining up for, as per usual, she'd only pay'd attention to roughly a third of the things said, so she could keep going with earning money for skipping duty, and practically doing nothing at all. Staring the ruler himself in the eye, unsure if feeling and looking certain and determined or bored and space-out-y was better here.

...Wut? Well then... WOLFY LOVED HER INSTANTLY! No cliched, hackneyed halmark crap about national pride, or trying hard! She cut STRAIGHT to the chase and didn't even TRY to please him with what "all kings want to hear"! She probably didn't even read that flyer he sent out SAYING the things king's like to hear! "Well'at makes a bunch'ah sense. Yeah, I guess we got the budget fer a total readjustin' of all the furnitures in Gele, eh? Act'ly, height discrimination is a crimes I never even thinked of! Wese MUST fix this issue!! Good work bring'in it to me attention!" Well then, even if she didn't get the job, she suggested an AMAZING idea! And what she said next?

Humiliating others and headpunching! Practically GELEMORTIAN TRADITIONS EMBODIED IN A GIRL MORE THAN A FOOT OVER WOLFY'S HEAD!!! He nodded. "Punchin'em in da heads, eh? Nice, lovely. Get's things DONE!" Hmm, now for another question... Eh.... Oh! "Okay then, Miss, what wouldja do if'n youse seen a Esparian running rampant in Gele? FURTHERMORES, go into detail on how you'd solve that problem." Oh yes. This was the question most people HORRIBLY FAILLED AT. Let us see how Ms. Giovenetti pulls it off...

Yes indeed. As expected, more questions followed. And the King wasn't really ill humoured by what Giovanetti had said so far. Totally contradiction to what they used to funnel into their heads at military school: Misbehaving and actually individual answers when talking to higher-ups was a surefire way to get crazily demoted or even kicked out. But in fact, right now she was propably the best-graded person out of all the soldiers present on the list in their Leaders head.
Actively trying not to change her posture at all, still suppressing any kind of nervous signs as good as she could, Vijaya took a quite endless second to think about this answer carefully, before answering. "If there would be an Esparian crazy enough to set foot to Gelemort, sir, he would have forfeited his life, non?" Surely, every normal-minded Gelemortian hated Esparians to the bone and would take any opportunity and reason presented to take violent measures. "Assuming he wasn't torn to shreds by a raging mob already, i would chase him down on my 'blades naturally and pin him to the nearest wall with a flying kick. I can assure you, hardrubber wheels to the head aren't nice, sir. And this aint either." The closing sentence was accentuated by VJ clenching her right prothesis-hand to a fist while raising it slightly. "Lastly, depending on if the outrageous Esparian surrenders or puts up resistance, i'd deliver him to court for an official and proper execution after trialing him for the crime, or, in case of resistance, the 'other' justice would be passed, if necessary." Again, supportive gestures. This time, it was the sound of the back-of-the-hand-mounted revolver-barrel clicking trough empty chambers - of course she was not wearing live drums on meetings like that, although she had loaded ones always at had, for emergencies. As easy going and lazy as the tall girl was regarding everything, in terms of hating everything esparia, the classic gelemortian education had worked quite well. The parental one as well as the military-drill one. Hence why, in this matter, she was dead serious. If it meant eradicating an Esparian, she'd easily find it in her, to pull a trigger or smash a skull. Or so she thought and was thaught.

An Esparian crazy enough to... Wolfy couldn't help it. Sure, this was a PROFESSIONAL meeting, but he could only stifle a cackle of laughter for a few seconds, before bursting out laughing at such a wonderful notion. He hadn't even factored that bit into the equation! But twas true; no Esparian could get within the borders of Gelemort, or rather, not without being brutally slaughtered by Mounties. In fact, extreme as it would seem if it were common knowledge to non-Gelemortians, there was, in fact, a law dictating that it was a criminal felony in Gelemort to be more than 22% Esparian. This law, by the way, is the second-most highly punished offense, often ending in a good old fashioned stake-burning. Ah, what the old man had cooked up during the waning, wee, years of the Ciel Dominion; only two years after taking lead of Gelemort and forming the government that led today, Darkamaru III had already lunged into brutal war with Esparia, after a civil disagreement got less civil, and more pimpadelic.

But that's not the point of this meeting! As history ended and the now rematerialized unto the present scene, Wolfy heard her exact plans for how to deal with the Esparian intruder. And after JUST that one answer? He loved the way this girl thought. "Kicka'pinnin'im int'wa wall, eh? Nice, nice, I like'it..." As to her next statement, he was a tad disappointed that she would bring him before a court, as the ruling would be obvious anyways; but of course, if nobody brought them to trial, there would be no Esparians for him to execute, now would there? So it would be accepte- Oh what was this, now? If he resisted, she would be playing Jury, Judge, and Executioner, eh? JUST the answer he loved!

Okay, now was time for the last question, one to see how honest this girl was with him. "Okey, soes you'd whack the 'Sparian, fix the furn'ture'n do some other stuffs, aye? Well, here's one last thing; How're your work ethicses? What'd'cha do if'n I handed you a stack of papers to fill out?"

Not surprisingly, Wolfgang was sold on this response as well. Dangit, if this went on, VJ might of loose her easygoing lazy ass life as a skipout soldier and might actually had to do things, because the ruler himself had taken interest in her and kept tabs. And all that regardless of the fact that she had kicked all education out of the window and answered what came to her instead of formally correct responses that should be; and were by everyone else in the room; used with them higher-ups.
Mostly, because she really didn't want to get "up there" herself, Vijaya kind of didn't give half a damn about formalties. The more important a position was, the more work she'd have, and knowing her luck uit'd be formal stuff, like signatures and meetings. A strong contrast to guard duties that you could skip out from easily and spend the day with so much more useful things. So it was in her interest NOT to get promoted, if it was avoidable somehow. Unusual, but reality.
This next answer would hopefully make up for all the missteps so far. "Sire, I don't fill out papers. Not in stacks, not in singles." she noted with a kind of disgusted look. "Bureaucracy is boring compared to other stuff. Like aforementioned humiliating and making people look stupid, or hunting and hurting evildoers. Or all of the three at once sometimes. I sure hope i can as per usual shuffle papers off to fellow co-soldiers or some kind of underlings i may or may not have. Cause paper stuff isn't my expertise, i'm the one who makes things happen." Yeah, that sounded about right. Lazy ass soldier person who was as brute as she was tall. Hopefully, Wolfgang would see it just as she and lost interest, send her back to stand watch outside the city or something, for this bold presentation of lazyness. Oh, yes, please - that sounded about perfect.

Oh, poor lass... No matter how little she wanted that job position, nobody could predict the level of insanity that comprises the humanoid crazy-gas that is Wolfgang Murinyo. After hearing such a speech of exactly how lazy she was, Wolfy was nodding along, a thoughtful expression on his face. NORMALLY, once she finished speaking, he was supposed to slam her face through the figurative boot, and probably pimp-slap her for being all rude'n'crude and such. But who ever accused WOLFY of being NORMAL? That's exactly right, only Gill Bates and Napolean Dynamite accused him of THAT! And one of those was in a dream! Boy, that was an odd, and Sicromoft-filled, dream...

Glancing at her name tag, which he could only now actually READ at proper reading levels, he smiled. SMILED. "A'righty then, Vijaya!~ Looks'a me like you got yourself a purty lazy attitude'en, eh? GOOD! En't hardly ever, I sees someone realistical! I hate paperwork too, tell youse'a truth, usually just pass it along to my General. Hehehe~" At this point, VJ was most likely as hideously lost as the men and women near the pair. And as such, not even noticing the nosier soldiers' expressions of confusion and surprise, he carried on like a wayward son. " I likes your attertude, Vijaya! By the way, call me Wolfy. Dunno why e'ryone wants'a call me sire'n crap..." With that, he SEEMINGLY walked off, on to the next person. But in all actuality, he stepped up to his slightly raised podium, with a grin. "A'righty e'ryone, I done decided! I'ma pick Vijaya Giovenetti for to be the head of Fort Rose!~" As he applauded, it seemed that there were only a handful of somewhat TAME clappers, further accented by looks of confusion, shock, or empty, STUNNED expressions. Who'd have expected the laziest Gelemortian in the WORLD to become the third in command of the entire nation!? Glancing over to a man in a robe, donning a triangular hat, he also pointed to this man, who turned to face him, pulling a cleaver of sorts into his hand as he did so. "I like your style, bredah! Youse can be my, eh... Executioner! You can kill whoever I don't wanna kill, eh?" The man didn't respond, he merely walked away with the rest of the crowd as Wolfy walked back towards VJ, ignoring the hatted man's trail of blood with unknown origin. As he approached, he grinned and handed her a keyring. "Now, when youse start workin' as me head'a Fort Rose, yah gotta keep doing whatcha do best, kay? An' those're your keys. Key tah Fort Rose, key tah your office o'er there, key tah me meeting room, if you ever get bored, key to the palace, and key to a new sports car!~ Need anythin' else? I'll be HAPPY to let you have some exter perks, if'n you want 'nything~"

The King must of smoked his own privates hair or something. This was a crazy decision. After hearing from her personally, without batting an eye, how incredibly lazy and sort of misguided she was, Wolfgang stepped back and got up to the podium thise whole mess started on just minutes earlier.
She really hoped he would announce her dishonourable discharge from the military, out of everything possible, this would have been the most enjoyable thing. But no, crazy person, crazy decision. He dared announce this event over and Sergeant Giovanetti promoted to head of Fort Rose. The person in question, VJ herself, was fighting really hard to not end up in a mixture of running away screaming, punching Wolfgang and fainting. Also, all that at once would have looked pretty ridiculous. But a definate "Oh jeez, no way, why me?" face she couldn't avoid. She could have bet a quite fair amount of moneys onto the fact that most other people in the room wanted to stab their basic equipment knife into her back now, but luckily, she was now ranked over all of them, so they did not dare, as they did also not dare to oppose the King's decision. Lucky! She got to walk away with a considerably smaller amount of knives in her back then what would have been realistic in this situation, to live another day. Or a whole bunch of days, weeks, months and years.

Being handed a set of keys with a varying lot of uses she slowly came around to take in the grand image and meaning of this unwanted promotion. "Well, thanks a bundle for these, i guess?" she stuttered, taking the ring of keys and putting it in her back pocket without even trying to pay attention or remember what purpose each one served. Still a little bit shakey from the surprising shock, she slowly got up finally, because being on your knees all the time kinda sucked. "I will see what i can do, or rather, cannot. Haw haw." Surprising even for herself, she had taken the casual nature of Wolfgang onto her own pretty quickly. And then it came to her. This wasn't that bad after all. Doing nothing. Getting paid for it. Sounds like her old position. Doing nothing, getting paid a lot more, getting some extra authority and perks for it, if that wasn't a promotion, she didn't know what was. "I guess i'm fine for now, think i'll see what kind of changes i want to make to the mentioned office and such first, since i have to use it. Also, what's everyone else still doing here? Get back to doing for me what i am supposed to do myself." Yeah, she picked up on the authority thing rather quickly. Also, VJ would surely spend quite a while with seeing and finding out, what the whole office thing was all about. Hopefully it had some kind of ramp to the outside to it, so she could blaze right in and out on them wheels. Also, she'd have to remember bringing a sledgehammer next time she came around. Because of the tall one wanted to go into any rooms, it would be a necessity for lasting improvement of the HQ building.

What was almost a horror just minutes earlier, was adapted by her versatile and spontaneous mind pretty easily, and Vijaya already felt right at home with the new responsibilities and perks this brought with it. Wolfy and her would totall get along nicely, cause they are pretty much riding the same wave all along. Hopefully his decision was a really wise choice.

Wolfy smiled, not quite understanding, or even noticing, Vijaya's utter, utter, confusion. "Sho' thing!~ Jes' remember, if'n youse ever needs more keys, drop by me palace, a'ight?" Ah, keys. You can get ANYTHING if you have the proper keys for it! Keys to his palace, keys to Fort Rose, keys to a car, keys to McRonald's, keys to a vending machine... What COULDN'T keys do!? Ah, anyways... To her next comment, he AGAIN disregarded her blatant laziness and rather apparent lack of a sense of authoritay. "O'course! Feel free tah haves free-reign if'n you want. Heck, youse could I dunno, have eh.... Youse could have a theme park built or something!" WHY she'd need a theme park happened to slip his mind, and it would slip everyone's mind, of course, as she obviously DID NOT need a theme park. Listening again to what she was saying, as all good leaders tend to do, listening that is, he nodded. "Yep, adjustments ca n be made at any time! Just tell me if'n ye need 'nythin'." Glancing at the stragglers in the crowd, he felt a surge of pride as she told them to go back to doing all of her work for her. ALREADY A BORN LEADER!! "Thur ye go, tellin'em whatcha think they need'a do! GOOD JOB!! Here's a raise!" With that, he wrote out a check for 800 GeD, the currency of Gelemort, which was Gelemortian Dollars. Not a good enough diploma, unlike what many thought.

Raise already, what the heck. This job got better by the minute. "If this trend persists, i'll be paid in moons made of gold by the end of the month." Of course, this was highly irrational to normal people, but damn, she really wanted to have a golden moon now. Better start working on it soon. And with that desire artificially created, she connected over to the office with a few long steps. Metal fingers gripped and turned the doorknob. Locked. Bah. This might justb e the time to try out a few of these spiffy keys, one of them had to fit. Pulling out the just so freshly aquired keychain and slightly bowing down to the door, VJ got started. First one. Not so much of a fit as expected. Second one. Clearly not the right base shape. Third one, it had a black base and a triggerknob with the symbol of an opened lock. Pusing it -without destroying the key luckily- did not open the door, disregarding the promise made by the iconic symbol.

It did not take any longer for the tall just-promoted to lose all temper and cool. "Screwthiscrap." she uttered more over her breath then under it before deciding she had the right key all along. Or something that had the same effect. Much noise and splinters were to be had and the next thing you know, the lock area of the doorknob was more or less smashed, punched in and destroyed. Thus unlocked. The room behind the now professionally unlocked door housed currently, mostly a huge ass deskwith respective chair and some standart issue paintings on the walls. Almost crawling trough the doorframe, she had already judged, that all this stuff would have to go probably soner then later. And the panorama window did not have the expected ramp down into the city plaza. Another thing to change. But right now, there was something else. Gleefully eyeing the phone on the desk, the tall woman had made the plan for today. First, she'd call someone in this base and tell them to procure a sledgehammer and then she'd kind of take a walk around the place to mayhap learn her way around the base just a little. While doing that, she'd take the opportunity to -as promised- modify the doorframes she came across.

"What do you mean, 'Who are you?' and 'We don't have one.'?" God, this incompetence everywhere was already unberable, this must have been the downside to all the money and golden moons she would be raking in soon. "You, private, are severely uninformed apparently! If you were a good soldier, you'd know your supers! And now go and get that hammering tool, buy one if you must. I expect it iin my office by the time i next remember to think about it. This is an order." She yelled into the banana-shaped piece of the phone as if she was talking to this guy in person, all across Gelemorté. This woman was so crazy, calling this day a beginning of hard times for this countries troops was a major understatement. They could only hope she would either get into a war or find out about vacation soon.