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Valeria's equipment.

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Valeria's equipment.

Post by Emmelin on Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:30 pm


...........................................................................
CASE FILE: Custom Weapon

Valeria Diablos
...........................................................................
NAME:
→ Satan's mask
→ Hell's guide

TYPE:
→ Shield
→ Polearm

FORM:
→ Mask
→ Scythe

...........................................................................

BRIEFING:
→ The mask is plain white. A colorless mask with only one marking over the left eye socket. The smooth curve of it is almost flawless and made of an odd material that is simply sturdy but lightweight. There is a curve for a nose with holes to breathe from along with a slit in the mouth area, the curves there with a lip shape. The mask fits perfect to Val's face and shows no distinguished characteristics of being either male or female. The curved ovals or the eyes almost haunting and even masking the color of her golden eyes. The red slash of design over her left eye holes would seem almost like a scar upon the very mask.

→ The blade itself looks evil. With an ancient look around its length. Rivets and designs with versus from the devil's book upon the pole. The length a good five and a half feet of height with the blade itself being a good two feet of tapered sharpness. The blade seems to corrode to crimson-ish rust with golden inscription stating "Guide them to Hell" carved about fourth an inch thick on the thickest parts of the curved sickle. The arch of the blade makes it a bit easier for access of the blade. The blade itself was not smooth but a bit more of lightning. At the meeting of the pole and the metal would be the shape of a skull with blood red crystals for the eyes. The bottom of the pole would hold the curve of three smaller gems. A series of five red gems about two inches above the three. It is made of hard metal, very durable and reliable. The pole is made of a malleable carbon steel, but has aged to darken in the curves. As well blood is splashed upon the pole.

PICTURE:
Spoiler:
The mask is flipped and the 'scar' is red.
Spoiler:

...........................................................................

SPECIAL ABILITIES:

→ N/a
→ N/A


Last edited by Valeria Diablos on Thu Mar 15, 2012 8:56 am; edited 3 times in total

.....................................................................................................................................


Drachman(#cc33ff)-Cretan(#ff9966)-Amestrian(#9999ff)-Charades(#6633ff)
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Emmelin
PICTURE PERFECT

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Points : 345

-Case File-
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Rank: ?
Writer: Ammy

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Re: Valeria's equipment.

Post by Guest on Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:48 pm

REVISE/INQUIRY

- All of them should be in the same sheet/template, each entry for your weapons in their own category of a paragraph represented by its own distinct arrow to differentiate.

- For your mask, you explain this is an "odd" material, but how is it odd? Though for something worn to the face, unless it is dense which would entail it is heavy, and would make it cumbersome to wear on the face, then you'd have to change that since that's stretching it too far, for a mask that is super durable. It would need a sturdy if not more explicit material in place to explain it, so it is doubtful at most. Downgrade the mask's strengths, and having passive traits is not a special ability. Special ability is a unique manifestation found in your character of your prowess.

- Might you explain how it looks evil? And if it is truly ancient, how is its integrity not weakened considerably? Get rid of the whole aura deal too. Also indestructible is the wrong word for your ability, so why excuse yourself immediately in brackets when you could've explained it differently from the get go?

I'll take another gander when you see towards addressing these points, you may want to brush up on the typos, and you'll be game.

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Re: Valeria's equipment.

Post by Emmelin on Wed Mar 14, 2012 2:59 pm

Yeahh I was going for something different and messed it up bad XD forgot that heavy material on the face is not a good idea. Anywayyysss took out a few things. The mask is a basic mask now. The blade only LOOKS old. It was designed to seem ancient but truly it's not. And really the way it looks evil is just the thorns and the print with the blood colors on it. Though I guess it's just more of a matter of opinion.

As for the separation ting did you mean I need to place them in different topics? Because I have the same templates and they aren't mashed together? I'm a bit confused in what you mean.

.....................................................................................................................................


Drachman(#cc33ff)-Cretan(#ff9966)-Amestrian(#9999ff)-Charades(#6633ff)
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Emmelin
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Re: Valeria's equipment.

Post by Guest on Wed Mar 14, 2012 3:56 pm

No no, I mean you have to keep them mashed together in a single template. No two duplicate templates for different weapons.

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Re: Valeria's equipment.

Post by Emmelin on Wed Mar 14, 2012 9:10 pm

I'm not really sure how you want me to fix this? Does this work a bit better?

.....................................................................................................................................


Drachman(#cc33ff)-Cretan(#ff9966)-Amestrian(#9999ff)-Charades(#6633ff)
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Emmelin
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Re: Valeria's equipment.

Post by Guest on Sat Mar 17, 2012 10:53 am

Believe that's what Niko meant. See no more problems here.

APPROVED

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