Mojo Dojo

The air conditioned room filled it with an odd vagueness of emptiness, bereft of life save that which owes so many for all he has wrought. For a black messenger of incarnated death, he fancied the white of the saint, left with no tunic or his black death cap, he had but a button up shirt, sleeves rolled up, and the collar opened up to his navel, taft of yellow hair stuck out in it's all non-thick glory, equaling the manly of a five plus ninety that has the Pythagorean rating of twelve. The Dojo, or so in the Aerugese as it calls itself to be, has come to be populated for the moment by Amestrians au contraire the title and ethnical disputes between the great and greater nation respectively in a war that has still YET to be concluded thus far, for despite the amounting bloodshed brought about in many ways that doesn't end, no matter how many squeal for further invasions into the Aerugese homeland, there is oddly no Aerugophobia in this country but the philia that comes from many lolicons in the country, the most beaten up and oppressed group in Amestris, and rightly so. For the conservatives howl, if lolism gets out of control, then necrophilia, and all sorts of depravities spiral out of control!

But Nikolaus was a good supporter of Jingoism, and despite that, he found himself here... in an Aerugese fashioned Dojo, with Aerugese practice weapons, where they turn themselves into psuedo-Samurai instead of the proper-like Amestrian fencers. Even the clothing are Aerugese where they wear pyjamas instead of some manly threads that makes the Amestrian swagger look more legit. All this fancy fencing was all down to Kendo, an incompatible style of fighting with the blonde Amestrian's style nonetheless, holding out his Bokken with one hand, twirling it around on the ground as he found himself seated with his back against the mirrored wall looking at the only entrance of this windowless room opposing it directly.

There were lots of blue mats which breaks falls, and lots of mirrors as well. Sign of vanity that comes from the Southern practitioners of swordsmanship most amusing. Perhaps to admire themselves? Or actually have no blind spots? Nonetheless, there weren't any students here today taught by a Sensei, but there was a stack of a set of Bokkens left behind by them, some small, some long, and some can even be considered equivalent to Nodachi.

"And now we wait," Nikolaus says, "For I have a date with destiny, and not Rosie palms. Come face me whomever dares! I just want to chat face-to-face... with my MORNING WOOD." He cawed in a dare at the door, expecting someone to walk through the threshold. The day has dawned to night, and he awaits whomever wants to spar... not as exciting as slicing someone to death with a sword, but close enough.

Ah, such a lovely day for some BRUTAL. BLOODY. MURDEROUS. HORRIFIC. GRISLY. GORY. TERRIFYINGLY WICKED. SICKENINGLY TWISTED. WONDERFUL. VIOLEEEEEEEENCE. But, as that is not quite befitting of an Amestrian general, and a erm... PROPER. lady at that, Jay deigned not to seek a victim out, and INSTEAD, headed over to a dojo thing. Spars were always good, even if simulated killing was never as good as the real thing. Oh, except that video game, Disrespect Women, Obtain Currency IV. Best game ever; Jay was QUITE skilled at virtually pimp-slapping hos into submission, and robbing jewelry stores immediately afterward. Oh wait... She did half of that on a daily basis, and was MORE skilled in reality than in the game! Oh well.

AAAAANYWAAAYS, now was the time to duel! TIME TO DUUUUUUUEL. NOW WE GET SERIOUS, TIME TO DUUUUUUUEL. Oh. Right. This wasn't an anime about a card game about a myth about a card game about an anime about a myth about a card game about a manga about monsters. THIS. WAS. REAL. LIFE. So Jay stepped into the dueling arena otherwise called a DOJO, and lo and behold, there he was!

"NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKOOOOOOOOOOLAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUS!!" Jay burst into the room, giving off a cheerful cry, like a Pikablu, whatever that is. "Hey, Niko, wanna SPAR? It'll be fuuuun~" INDEED. IT WILL BE. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN.

Peace, calmness, tranquility. The three traits that gave him the peace of the mind where all is well as meditations took place. The room was in a sphere of Zen where it was quiet and all is well. IRRITATING. It was irritating as Hell, and definitely boring nowadays. Has he been reduced to doing nothing but sitting around and waiting for something to happen? Looks like it, and nowadays, he doesn't even get the satisfaction when plunging his sharp blade into the throat of some criminal scum as there was often a choice between paying a fine or with their blood. In most cases, it is often blood. Lo for woe is Nikolaus.

Then there was this blonde baby-faced teenager that stepped through the door, as if a bane against all the peace of the place as the momentary silence was broken. Jay L. Furor, the name of the woman... girl, that helped Nikolaus solve a case of the who placed a pile of fecal matter on a soldier's desk. A reliable person yet oddly she never held a care for the world from the looks of it. Perhaps a child-like mind that is more primitive in wants? Or the wisdom that comes from a philosophy of simplicity which espouses a lack of need for complexities an adult typically requires? For one thing that is certain, she is a child prodigy rarely seen in several generations.

"NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKOOOOOOOOOOLAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUS!!" She would shout without a care for the world, as if all the happenings in Amestris, all the intrigues of the court, whatever complexities that come by never weighed on her diminutive child-like mind, "Hey, Niko, wanna SPAR? It'll be fuuuun~"

He stood up from his seat and smirked, flinging his own Bokken over to Jay, then taking the Bokken from the stand as his own in black polished wood. Gripping the smooth surface as he admired the piece in his hand with great interest, it looked a lot like his scabbard for his saber save the fact it was heavier. Making some mock swings around empty space with the right hand to get used to the weight, afterwards inclining his vision to size up Jay in his optics.

"Good! Straight to the point! Just the way I like it, except I prefer to drive my point straight through the heart." He cooed, turning to face Jay as the distance was quite sizable between them, pointing his Bokken at him as it measured the distance. They were six Bokken's away from each other if the Bokken was used as a measurement, "No innuendos intended. Maybe one day I'll teach you about how it is they make babies, complete with diagrams, and no, it doesn't involve storks."

Extending her hand HIGH INTO THE SKY WITH THE MIGHT OF FORTY-TWO-THOUSAND SOARING PICCOLO SOLOS, Jay caught the wooden-bladed sword thingy. Upon giving it a once-over, and some practice slashes of her own, she deemed it UNWORTHY of her sword hand. FAR too breakable, and WAY too dull! BOOOOOOOOOORING. But it would do. I mean, Jay would try to NOT kill Niko, you know? Why would she want to cause bodily harm to such a magnificent slayer of men!? HE WAS A GENIUS AT HIS TRADE. That would be the equivalent of Hephen Stawkings pulling a drive-by on Eibert Alnstein from his wheelchair!

So Jay would, instead, merely thwack away at his wooden sword with her wooden sword until they had crossed sticks enough, and could only lay there, sweating and panting on the ground, after a long time of smacking each others' face with their big stick. Innuendos unintended, of course.

And what was this!? Niko drove points THROUGH THE HEART!? That was also a hobby of Jay's. It's good to enjoy the company of someone you can relate to. Good socializing and such. Perhaps the two of them could go on a killing spree some day? Maybe she could suggest it after the spar. Hmm... TUESDAY SEEMED GOOD. Perfect day for random bloody murder!

Oh, back to the topic at hand. As it seemed, Niko was pointing his sword at stuff, probably figuring out what to put his sword in. Jay, too, was wondering what to do with her big stick. Niko then made a comment stating a desire to teach her how babies were made? WHUT!? Gross, Jay didn't care about that! "Pffft, making babies is for them thur het-ro-sex-u-als. Silly Niko~" RIGHT. Now to prepare to slam her stick into his stick! She would enjoy this greatly. Oh, uh, no innuendos intended, of course.

"Pffft, making babies is for them thur het-ro-sex-u-als. Silly Niko~" Oh wonderful, it made Nikolaus give a smirk to Jay, lowering his Bokken down to the waist level, yet it stuck out to still point at Jay, Nikolaus took a few measured steps towards Jay, only three Bokken away from one another, which is to say things are quite nuclear hot in the tensions that arose. Yet the General Stuka was quite serene in his smile, in fact, as if he was looking forward to this warm up.

"GOOD! It means we both have something in common, and that's our love for ovaries. I personally prefer brunettes myself." Nikolaus says either mockingly or cheerfully given his jovial tone to Jay, professing his love for the brown haired smarter chicks that are not quite as dumb as the stereotypical blonde chicks tend to be. Oddly enough the stereotype doesn't extend to blonde males, but rather blonde males are often stereotyped to be evil in some way or form, except they have souls, unlike gingers.

Taking a few steps to the left, he strafed with his eyes peeled on Jay, finding it much to his leisurely stroll that the battle was going not really that fast, but was more akin to measuring the smaller blonde. This was Nikolaus's rare moment to restrain his swordsmanship, for going all out would be to say the least depriving the world of a keenly perceptive and smart officer, and the world is not that horrible enough to deserve such a fate.

He would look Jay from somewhat a side diagonally in quite an odd angle, nothing straightforward. The boots were tight against the mats with great traction there as he felt from his paces. There was great potential to maneuver around with little problem in his strides, his footwork quite fluid without problems, as he would stop with himself facing Jay at a slighter left if so.

OH HO. So Niko too had an interest in women!? HOW INTERESTING. Not unexpected, though Jay DID end up meeting quite a few men who enjoyed the company of other men. IT WAS GOOD THAT SHE HAD A STRAIGHT FRIEND FOR ONCE. Well, besides Spade. Spade was straighter than something really, really straight, of course. And apparently, so was Niko! COOL. BEANS.

"GOOD, INDEED! Always good to have friends with a love for breasts in common, you know? And likewise, I too prefer brunettes! Blondes are rather dumb, you know. Myself excluded, as I am a genius pimp-diva of awesome proportions." As she spoke, she watched Niko seem to precisely move forward and start moving to sort of prepare for battle. As it was, Jay really didn't do much of that walking around, rather, she twirled her bokken as if it were a leek, and as if she were singing random gibberish in Lokhyn or something, which she was obviously not.

"So, how does the Amestrian basketball team look to you? Think they'll win the game this week, against Esparia?" Yes, most would consider this a tactical distraction, to break someone's guard. But generally one didn't leek-spin their weapon when distracting their opponent, so it was not a distraction, rather, Jay was interested in Niko's answer, as small talk made for epic battles. HUZZAH FOR SMALL TALK! And he stopped moving. SO LET IT BEGIN! "Ready, god sir? GENTLEMEN FIRST, THEN, SIR NIKOLAUS!~"