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~Playing with Pudding? PWNAGE~

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~Playing with Pudding? PWNAGE~

Post by Valdís Raghild on Tue May 08, 2012 12:29 am

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! You idiot, I said call a GOOD cab! THIS. CAB. SUCKS. Find a new one, I don't like it! And the driver smells funny! YOU ARE A TERRIBLE ASSISTANT!" Poor, poor man... He darted off to meet the wishes of his powerful boss IMMEDIATELY. "Yes ma'am, right away ma'am, so sorry for your inconvenience, it'll nev-" Aaaand she gave him a facepalm and a hand to talk to. Ah well... Such were the ways of Valdís Raghild, he supposed...

After much time, she FINALLY set foot in a nice limo, which carted her and her payload off to a very special place; the headquarters of the Yakuza, where a certain customer of her's resided. Not just ANY customer, mind you; this customer... He was akin to the four-chinner at McRonalds, the Christmas Eve big-spender at L-Mart, the shaggy-haired bass guitarist at a barbershop! He was the PRIZE CATCH of customers! And she intended to make his deliveries HERSELF, in person, to show good business, and gratitude for all the money he dished out to her for pudding! Ah, money... She loved it sooooo...

Approaching the building, alone, a large box of pudding balanced precariously on her head, hands behind her back, she glanced at the guards, who seemed to be mobilizing to block her path. "Listen lady, nobody gets i-"

"YOU. GUY. DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'M IMPORTANT, I GET IN HERE, I DO WHAT I WANT, AND YOUR BOSS REQUIRES MY PRESENCE! SO MOVE, IDIOTS!" As proof, she shoved the pudding box in his face, as he seemed to get what she meant. Glancing at his partner, he begrudgingly let her in, finding her an escort to the Wakagashira's location. Upon reaching the room he resided in, she casually nudged the door open with her foot and, without BOTHERING to greet Makoto yet, set the box of pudding before him on a desk or table, of the variety she'd heard he enjoyed flipping over. She then whistled as she heard a tad bit of commotion, before the guards accepted that the MONSTROUS thing bumbling through the halls belonged to their demanding guest. Indeed, Thunderbutt- her walrus- came surging into the room, next to her, a few more boxes in tow, which she set before him. She then smiled. "Hi Mako! Vanilla, chocolate, lemon, chocolate-vanilla swirled, and even a case of caramel for your tongue to enjoy! And I'll be cool; You pay for four boxes of pudding, and get the fifth one free, ne? Nice deal, am I right, my favorite pudding-consumer?" A smile on her face, even as she spoke words of a salesperson, the words that put her at the top; treat your customers right, they always say! And of course, she knew he would buy the pudding. It was pudding, and from what she knew from previous ventures, he LIKED. HIS. PUDDING.

And she liked his money!~
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Re: ~Playing with Pudding? PWNAGE~

Post by Guest on Mon May 21, 2012 2:36 pm

Last night was a fucking bitch. It involved fucking bitches. No, no not sex, but fucking them up he should say. Like, whores that didn't know their shit well enough to answer quick enough before they lost fingers. Yeah, whores that weren't actually whores because they were in the yakuza, but bitches that were fucking stupid enough to be called whores not in the literal sense. They released valuable information that was not allowable to be released, thus, they lost a pinkie each and their unfortunate tongues. If that wasn't enough, Bunji informed Makoto that that wasn't all. When he found out that the three of them were sleeping with three high-up politicians from Creta, he fucking tied bricks to their bodies and had them sunk all the way to the grimy bottom of Edo Bay. GOOOODBBYYE BITCHES. And that was the end of them.

No Yamaguchi-gumi info was to ever be griped about to ANYONE except yakuza. Hopefully other bitches would learn from them. Hell, the Yamaguchi-gumi was fucking large enough for leaks to happen sometimes, but why do it if they knew they'd eventually be found out and sunk into Edo Bay? Now, thanks to their leaking of information, it was harder for Makoto to wire money to buy Cretan pudding into Aerugo. It pissed him off. It pissed him off so much he spent the rest of the night playing pachinko and ordering Creig whiskey that very much tasted like shit. But hey, all medicine tasted like shit, right? He swallowed bottle after bottle, making sure everyone with him was equally drunk and having a good time. They were dancing on tables by the time the pachinko parlor closed. AND THEN. They went to a bar run solely by the Yamaguchi-gumi. By then, Mako was thoroughly smashed out of his mind and carelessly went about drinking more. Finally it was time for certain important employers to have a meeting with the Wakagashira. However, Mako had Bunji drunkenly call and rearrange the meeting to be at the bar where they were. When the suited men arrived looking scary and marginally inconvenienced, the son of the Yakuza boss smoothed it over with booze. In no time, the four or five men (he forgot) caught up with the others and were also dancing on tables and accidentally shooting picture frames they'd have to pay for later. Whoops. At least they (meaning Mako's crew) had the decency to remove the ammo from their weapons. Though he was sure a few of his men left their guns at the panchiko parlor. Whatever.

Needless to say the business went smooth and he got a call later when they were sober enough to speak in sentences that the deal went perfect. Somehow the figures were all right and everything turned out well to Mako's expectations. This was how he did shit. And his shit always worked tyvm. He returned that night in a drunken stupor after his driver (who was also forced to drink) hit a few mail boxes and parked cars before parking their own all steaming and smoking and shit. It was totally funny. Mako remembered laughing himself to sleep only to wake up at some point in the earlier morning to find that he wasn't even in his fucking room. He didn't even know whose room it had been, but he switched to his own and slept the rest of the morning and early afternoon away. At about 1pm he realized how much of a horrifying hangover he had and that he wanted to sink himself in Edo Bay. HIS HEAD HURT SO FUCKING MUCH. overdosing on painkillers, he went back to sleep only to-- "Hi Mako! Vanilla, chocolate, lemon, chocolate-vanilla swirled, and even a case of caramel for your tongue to enjoy! And I'll be cool; You pay for four boxes of pudding, and get the fifth one free, ne? Nice deal, am I right, my favorite pudding-consumer?" Ughhhhhhh....whyyyyyyy? He rolled over, emitting a moan and smothering his face in his pillow. Who the fuck let the girl into his room when he was like this? WHO THE FUCK EHHHHH!??! He shot up in bed, pointing a figure at the chick with bloodshot caramel eyes.

"No. Don't even start that shit with me lady!! I'm no in the mood to-- Is that pudding?!" So agitated with the presence of another human being when he was like this, Mako hadn't even listened to what she said. PUDDING!? IT WAS A GODSEND. THANK YOU. "Yeeeaaah." He was about to get up with his rumpled suit all rumpled, but that was when he heard something lumbering through the hallway outside his luxurious room. LUMBERING. He shuddered. Please let it not be for him, please let it-- The door burst open again and a giant...thing that could only be described as a thing entered with other pudding boxes. This was a really fucked up dream.


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Re: ~Playing with Pudding? PWNAGE~

Post by Valdís Raghild on Sat May 26, 2012 12:10 pm

Ah, Mako's usual string of nagging like an old lady, and ranting and raving for her to leave! Valdis simply stood there, smiling, holding one of the pudding boxes, patiently waiting for him to wake up. "INDEED. It is pudding! You should know this! When I come over here, pudding happens! Thunderbutt, be the walrus that SOMEBODY wants to be, and fetch the man a box of pudding!" With a whooping bark thing noise, her walrus clammered over to the table, head-bumped a box of pudding onto his back and shuffled over to Mako, raising his back a bit for Mako to grab the pudding.

"Now, pleasantries aside, talking business, your grand total, with discount, comes to Sixty Cretan dollars, or whatever that is in your silly Aerugese money." Yup. That was how she rolled. STRAIGHT for the wallet! LIKE AN ARROW. "Soooo, in the way of pleasantries, which are rather pleasant, how fare ye? Yakuza stuff being all... Yakuza-y?"
(~(Short post is short. Q.Q)~)
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Re: ~Playing with Pudding? PWNAGE~

Post by Guest on Sat May 26, 2012 1:51 pm

Pain... Pain. Pain pain painpainpaipapppppppppppppphhh... Makoto Kiyoshino, Wakagaishira of the largest Yakuza in Aerugo, the Yamaguchi-gumi was subjected to a decision. Sleep or pudding. Now, sleep was certainly justified as was ingesting an entire bottle of ibuprofen, but there came a day in Mako's life when pudding was not to be questioned. Thus, he found himself tiredly rolling from the covers of his warm paradise only to realize that he was shirtless and in boxers instead of his rumpled suit (that he had apparently removed from himself at one point and strewn it about the room like a dead carcass). Now, these weren't just any boxers; they were his lucky boxers. That's right. Amid the black background were printed Aerugese 10,000 yen bills everywhere and a gold button for the cut in the front. He stared down at himself for ninety seconds in a mixture of awe and bewilderment only to shrug and look back up at the..........................................da fuck even was that. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, pinched himself, wriggled his tongue--went about the whole spiel of making sure he actually was awake before double taking. "INDEED. It is pudding! You should know this! When I come over here, pudding happens! Thunderbutt, dfs dsfsa rwqe ejhgqw DJKAHDKF fhsa df dsa, ewkjh khdf dsf kjasda da djksdh ksja pudding!" EHHHHHHHH? Mako heard the word pudding and then proceeded to get lost.

"The FUCK did you just say. Thunderbutt, the hell is that EHHHH?" He cocked his head to the side and flung himself up from the bed in time to see it...to see it.......... it SHUFFLED. SHUFFLED LIKE A ZOMBIE FROM 28 DAYS LATER. NO. IT WAS NOT FUCKING COOL. Makoto wheeled backward, haphazardly knocking over his bedside table with a crash. He held his fingers together in a ready-to-snap fashion and eyed up the zombie, trying to communicate to it telepathically. Fucking come near me and I'll light you on fire. "Da fuck do you have a pet zombie for EH?!" It barked. THAT SOUND. THAT SOUNNNDDDD. Mako shuddered and gnawed on his lip violently to prevent himself from killing it right then and there.

"Now, pleasantries aside, talking business, your grand total, with discount, comes to Sixty Cretan dollars, or whatever that is in your kdshf Aerugese money." Mako snapped out of it, meeting her eyes and he make quick, small movement for a pocket in one of his discarded pants. He with drew a 10,000 yen bill, folding it in half, and extended his arm from where he stood, not daring move anywhere nearer to the SHUFFLING ...thing. "Soooo, in the way of pleasantries, which are rather pleasant, how fare ye? Yakuza stuff being all... Yakuza-y?"

"Un yeah," he muttered, taking no real interest in the act of conversation. He just wanted the damn pudding.

[This is what my short posts look like XD ^]

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Re: ~Playing with Pudding? PWNAGE~

Post by Shula Brighton on Sun Jun 10, 2012 4:06 pm

{BUMP}
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