Who am I beating?

Lips pursed tight enough to only be a thing line, Avalon stormed her way through the town. Not a soul dared to step in her way. She was seething with what seemed to be irrefutable anger. What had happened to piss her off so much? Well, it seemed someone had messed with Wolfgang, who was her boss. When they messed with Wolfy, they messed with her. She would be beating someone to an inch of their life soon. SENSELESS! Without a fabric of brains left, by her trusty and violent bat. No one could stand it's rusty nails of justice! Violence solved everything! And if that didn't work, kick their car through a building! Yeah! It sounded like a solid plan. That or just chuck them into the unforgiving seas. DOGGY PADDLE, BITCH! DOGGY PADDLE! For some reason, Ava could imagine some person that she didn't know, flailing and crying that he couldn't swim. Oh well, said mental dictator Ava who only laughed maniacly.

Snap! Back at earth. Ava let out a low shout. "I'm coming leader-man!" A soft voice to cover the air before she hauled herself up the stairs at an amazing speed. At the top, she took a running start before letting out a war cry. "LEADER MANNNN!!!!!" She bellowed as she burst through the wall. Her helmet first while the wall literally fell apart from her impact. An Avalon-sized hole in place of the whole wall. Dust and debris went flying as she took a deep breath. "What's the emergency? Who do I get to beat? Where's your damn breakfast?!" She stated, shooting a look to the guards with a snarl. Both kind of stared before the scurried off and Ava turned back to Wolfgang, straightening herself.

Oh, it was a dreadful day... Just terrible... Woe be one Mr. Wolfgang Murinyo, for his favorite of favorite crack pipes had been STOLEN AWAY from him in the dead of the night! As it was, he'd spent hours of his valuable morning time combing thrugh cabinet after cabinet of the palace, sifting through dozens of nooks and crannies for this utensil, to no success. And when all hope had come to a dead end, he'd realized who was prime suspect; a local street gang, The Rabid Wildebeasts, known for shenanigans! As most members were teenagers, he felt it would be morally unethical to run in shooting their heads off with his guns. So he called his favorite of the four Royal Guards; Avalon Summers.

He stood, waiting, in the living room of the Royal Palace, for a brief period of time after paging Avalon to come to his door for an emergency. Soon enough, she thundered in through the wall, right on time, and he ran over to give her a hug. "AVY! So good'a youse ta be here right now'n stuff! We gots us a big dilemener! Bunch'a street rats done stoled off with me favert pipe!" Pointing dramatically at his guards, less important than his ROYAL Guards, he exclaimed at them, "Menses, stand outsida me door, for there'll be some discussin' and such in heeyah! Confidental info, if'n yah gots what I'm talkin' about!" As the guards left, he turned back to Avalon.

"Aight Avy, here's the sitch; bunch'a crackheads o'er ther'n that thur gang, Rabid Wildybeasts, they done took my pipe, some sorta practic prank'er somethin'. I'ma need you tah get'it back fer me, kay? An' after that, we can go get ice cream or somethin'."

There was a hug. Awkwardness was not there, Wolfgang was the only one she let hug her, though she didn't hug back really. So instead it was just him hugging her and her staring at him with her normal apathetic look. However, she didn't push him away, which was accepting. Her eyes borrowed up to the man as she stared him down with a look that would kill most people. Oddly enough there was no malice, simply anxiety without it showing. He looked okay, his body seemed unharmed which could be good or bad. With her arms crossing beneath her chest, she turned to glare at the men as they ran out, not sure what to think of the two.

Swiftly, Avalon threw her hand to her head in a salute. Her informant spoke of what was needed. Okay, she could do that. A small grin folded on her lips and her hand gripped at the bat tightly. Bludgeoning was always a good day, in her book. The Wildebeasts was it? She'd vaguely heard of them, but they knew nothing of real life. Such a lame excuse for trouble-making hooligans! Avalon yanked her bat to her shoulder and smiled genuinely, if a bit cruelly, to her leader. "Wildebeasts? Just point m'in their direction. I'll treat'em to a real good time."

With her body ready to go, she simply awaited Wolfgang to point in a general direction. Of course, should he point in the wrong direction, she would follow it and tear up the town, to come back and tear up stuff in the right direction. People tended to hide at home when Avalon was around.

Ah, Avalon seemed to be acting her normal self. HOW WONDERFUL! Not super-llama-over-reactive like some acted in times of a crisis, nor super-robot-under-reactive. RATHER, Avalon-standard stone-face, followed by her RAGE towards all those set out to harm her poor, self-sufficient leader! SUCH LOYALTY! And of course, he repaid this loyalty with both money and his own loyalty. He relied on NO OTHER but Avalon for these personal-type jobs, and she was the leader of his Royal Guards for such a reason as that.

Well, that, and her bat wasn't quite useless for controlling villains. Indeed, her bat, next only to Remy's Gauss Rifle, was considered the most lethal weapon in Gelemort, by his standards. Why? Because her bat was POWERFUL. He actually had conducted secret tests on it, as she slept, at a few points, to test it for missile capabilities, or technological enhancements. As it happened, though, it was a NORMAL bat with NORMAL rusted nails driven through it. Which, quite frankly, ASTOUNDED him. Of course, he was ALSO astounded by Avalon's proficiency at property destruction, and her ability to kick cars apart! AMAZING.

Oh, right! WHERE were the hoodlums! "Them Wildybeasts be livin' in'a bunch'a spots, o'er Downtown Jillaine! Most likin', they'll be there, plottin' their next cours'a actionin' and the likeness, soes we gotsa get o'er there 'fore they be knockin' down me walls tah take away my breeches!" Pressing a button he ALWAYS enjoyed pressing, a beep sounded as an armored limo thundered into sight, through the wall, which he entered, driverside, gesturing for Avalon to get in the passenger's seat.

"TO THE WOLF-MOBILE!!"

No one messed with her leader-man. That was Ava's motto. those who infringed on it were doomed to a beat down. Possibly tetanus to ring with it. Sickness AND a beating! Yeah, that's how it was done, right. Ava could think of nothing she loved more than knocking sense into angst teenage men who had nothing more to do than jack-off and steal her leader's precious pipes! Yes, they would suffer dearly for their horrid decision that would leave all of them in the hospital more than likely. What did she care? Neither of those two were paying the bill, unless someone saw them. Then again, Wolfgang was leader and a wild man. He could probably have a good excuse that would be bought. She'd seen odder things in her days serving him. For example; bribing someone with bacon. What she found even stranger was the person ACCEPTED said bribe. Then again, who didn't love bacon?

Not the breeches! That would be an epidemic! Once the leader's breeches were stolen, everyone would steal everyone's until there were no more in the world. Then they would be the country of the pants-less people! That was a horrible thing! "THOSE FIENDS! To even think of stealing your breeches!" Avalon growled out as her leader pressed a button. There went the other wall. A limo drove through it, leaving it in shambles as the man hopped into the car. There was haste as she lunged forward and yanked open the door, a bit harder than expected. It creaked a bit, but she controlled herself before the thing broke off.

Snapping on the seat belt, she thrust her bat between her legs and stared forward with the most serious of looks. This business surely was the utmost of importance. The shenanigans had to stop! Ava would make sure of it!

THAT'S THE SPIRIT! To think of those fools nabbing a pair of his drawers, indeed! That was just silly! But it did Wolfy's heart good to know somebody existed who made it her DUTY to ensure that his underwear drawer was under top protection from those who'd wish to harm him, his property, his reputation, or his secret flapjack recipe! So as she slammed the door behind her, Wolfy backed out of the building, and sped off down the highway, heading for the FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT stop on their quest to eliminate evil; McRonalds. Because crimestopping royalty and bawss bodyguards couldn't do any butt-whooping without a proper bacun cheeseburger!

Pulling RIGHT into the drive-thru, he drove almost haphazardly towards the speaker, while driving perfectly well, even though he was driving recklessly. Or rather, he SEEMED crazier than he was, in terms of driving. Rolling down his window, for there was little time to lose, he shouted into the speakers, "CAN I HAZ CHEESEBURDER!?", to which the screen showed an order for two bacun cheeseburgers, two large fries, a large iced tea, and a combination of Sprite and Orange Hawaiian punch. Driving forward, he recieved the food, with a quick, but solemn, "Thankses youse." and he sped along, passing Avalon a burger, a fry, and the tea, as he sipped at his Suicide, as sucha concoction was called informally, and ravaged his burger and the salty fries he loved so much.

But finally they arrived at the WORLD FAMOUS Downtown Mt. Jillaine, where HOODLUMS LIVED! And he pulled into a lot, where a handful of teens were apparently collecting fifth graders' lunch money before school, while other teenagers seemed to be thriving all throughout the abandoned warehouse on the lot. "In theyah, Avy, youse knows whadda do! Mah life's in your handses!!"

As the car drove off, Ava wondered if her boss knew where he was going. However any questions were kept silent as she simply sat in the stat and glared steadily at the people abound. A soft sort of hiss on her lips towards the invisible foe. Had they done anything notably evil with proof yet? No. Did it matter? No. What Wolf said happened; HAPPENED. No ifs ands or buts, especially no butts! It was rude to moon the leader of a country! To think such indignity might happen because of the hooligans!

Just as Ava got to the good, badmouthing part of her mentality, she heard a loud leader's voice in her ear. Cheeseburder?! CHEESE BURDER?! Ava got excited like a small child when the man pulled through the drive through. A contained squee of happiness as he handed it over. Eyes full of wonderment until he looked at her leader to which she cleared her throat and flashed a small smile. Her hands making quick work of wrappings. "Thank you!" Her voice a bit more emotional than needed, but hey, it wasn't often she got to eat take-out instead of the terrible cooking that her dying mother made. Was it bad that she thought that? Of course it was! However, it didn't matter to Ava her mother's cooking was terrible and that was that. Albeit, better than Adry's had been when he was around. Her eye twitched. ADRYION! That dick.. he was getting the ever-living shit beaten out of him when she saw him next time. Back-stabbing, abandoning, asinine jackass!

Her anger was taken out on her cheeseburger which was dripping ketchup at an alarming rate. Quickly, Ava lapped it up from the sides and took a long since wanted bite. Oh it was delicious! She chomped it down to the sweetest last bite, savoring every last crumb before moving onto the french fries, like a starved child. Downing two at once before sipping her iced tea. She drank down the tea until there was nothing left and looked forward, while they pulled up to the group. Wolfgang then told her she knew what to do and indeed, she did. He body straightened and she unbuckled herself. A door open, a foot out and she was on her way.

"Gimme five, maybe ten, Boss-Man." Her voice smoothed before she shut the door and let Wolfgang to do whatever he did while she entered the fray. Hand pulling her bat along to scrape the ground like a horror movie. She hoped they would try to hide. A game of hide and seek with Ava was both dangerous and not healthy, but for her, it was fun. The kids and teens tensed, turning to look at her. One probably wet himself, but Ava couldn't care under her cold glare that severely attacked each bully. Pausing in their essence, two flinched as Ava pulled the bat up upon her shoulder. While she grinned wildly at them.

"What are you doing here?!" One such brave soul shouted to be silenced as Ava knocked him off his feet and raised her bat. "We didn't do anything!"

-Insert violent interrogation-

Her hands grabbed at the bloody collar while her voice yelled, "WHERE'S IT AT?" Ava stared daggers at the whimpering and terrified boys.

"We already told you ten times! IT'S IN OUR BAGSSS WE'RE SOORRYYYYY!"

A boy shouted and Ava assessed the thought before dropping the two she held and walking over. Grabbing the bags whole and flinging over her shoulders, she lunged towards the one who spoke and launched her foot. A good fifteen feet, he went flying. "NO ONE LIKES A TATTLE TALE!" She snarled before sauntering over to the car and giving one last killer look to them. "Do it, again? Somethin like this? I'ma fuckin end you!" She swore and gave an almost God-father-esque grin, before turning and staring loyally to her boss. She shrugged the bag to the back car and opened again to rummage for the truth. Indeed, stuff was in there. Was it THE stuff? Of course it was! A job well done. Ava slid into the passenger's seat and watched the teenagers bawl over the maybe casualties. Was it illegal to beat children? Of course it was. DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY FOR THE WIN! With a swift last word, she flipped them all off before turning back to Wolfgang. "Ice cream?"

Ah, so good to see his guard so happy as when she brutally demolished that burger! He almost shed a tear of joy knowing HE had made her THAT smiley!

Ah, and now he was giving her another chance to be happy! He had released her on some teens, and he watched, casually sipping at his Suicide as he observed Avalon's methods, namely, causing PAIN. SAM FISHER STYLE! Except good old Sam Fisher couldn't kick someone FIFTEEN FEET towards a brick wall. And all for little old him! So sweet~ So Avalon soon approached the car and Wolfy, glad to have his pipe back, gladly accepted it, and hugged Avalon. "THANKYOUSETHANKYOUSETHANKYOUSE AVY!~ Youse is the bestest Royal Guard, y'know?" Withdrawing from his pocket a royal lighter, he placed a erm... rock, of sorts, yeah let's go with that, into the pipe, before lighting it and leaning back as he enjoyed the fumes. So with a smile, and a new, somewhat wilder glint in his eyes, he nodded to ice cream and sped off down the highway to the ice cream shop!~

"THANKYOUSETHANKYOUSETHANKYOUSE AVY!~ Youse is the bestest Royal Guard, y'know?" A sort of glow of proide flowed over Ava. Her whole face lit up like Christmas and she was simply overjoyed. The honor of being complimented so highly! It was amazing. She'd never felt happier. Well, maybe she did, but that was besides the point. Leader man was happy, so Ava was as well.

Once she slid into her seat, she turned to see him do his tradition of smoking rocks. Though she didn't get the concept, she let him do his thing without a slightest question. Her hand on her bat, she simply bumped it against each leg, in a pattern. Left, right, left right. Her body was a bit twitchy with boredom. She needed something to do now. Ice cream. After a few inhales, the rock was put away and OFF the car went, his usual crazy driving once again visible to everyone. Her face was unaffected though and in fact she sort of enjoyed his terrible driving.