Sight Seeing

Varod got off the bus and walked into central proper. It had taken him awhile, but he'd made it. Getting out of Kanama had been the truly difficult part, as police had been looking everywhere for the wind thief. He'd certainly made a name for himself, but not quite the one he wanted. Now, he was interested in seeing the world and expanding his mind. Central seemed the perfect place to do so. Pulling an apple out of his pack, he bit hungrily into it, not having had any food since before he'd left Kanama on the bus. One of the rules had been to not eat or drink, which had made him sad.

Looking around, he pushed his bag higher up on his shoulder, his goal unclear. Where to go? he thought to himself curiously. Maybe I could... Then it hit him. He had no idea what the hell it was he was doing. He'd simply up and left his home. Mind, he'd been chased by cops out of it, but still. Plopping down on a bench, he looked up at the sky hopelessly, gnawing on the apple absentmindedly.

Ah, but for the day as it was the day, on the day which Jay made her way, through the fray, which is to say, as the donkeys bray, ay ay ay ay, JAY. Anywho, she'd gotten the alert that the illustrious Wind Thief of her hometown's renown had been foun- Okay, if she mentally rhymed ONE MORE TIME, Jay was going to slap herself through a brick wall. Oh well~

So she drove Kasatka through the town, scaring the CRAP out of civilians, as if a Drachman tank was DANGEROUS or something, and proceeded to follow a bus he was purported to be aboard, but not TOO close behind. Not noticeably, anyways. (Of note, a large tank, ESPECIALLY one with ARCTIC camoflauge, and a badly graffiited on Amestris crest, is USUALLY noticeable no matter what...) But yeah. Soon, the bus stopped and she surveyed him as he exited it, doing donuts in a nearby parking lot. He was eating an apple... And sitting down! YEP. That matched her assumptions of what he'd do after pulling a heist! So she drove the tank up fairly close to him, and blasted over the microphone thing, for him to hear in a loud megaphone-y voice. "STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW, WIND THEIF. YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR..." And she lifted the hatch and climbed out, jumping to the ground, her large minigun Uno in her automail hand, pointed at him, and a devilish grin on her face. "Not sharing your apple! You criminally insane monster! Colonel Jay Furor, by the way. Darned fuzz, ne? Those pigs outta head over to Dunkin' Donuts or something. Better yet, a personal trainer! Sooooo... Heardya' like robbing stuff, eh?~ 'Cus you kinda suck at not getting caught. Need some pointers or something?" And she let him absorb this newfound crazy as she took a brief pause, sitting next to him, minigun sitting on the ground next to her.

Varod popped his neck and glanced around. The place was getting bigger and as he leaned back to take a nap, he heard his title called. He was already over the back of the bench and halfway up the wall behind before the girl said something in a lighter voice. He sighed and turned around.

"Nah, it's not that I'm bad at getting caught, it's that one of the higher ups came after me. I feel rather flattered, to tell you the truth. I had no idea the Wind Thief was such a big criminal name. A colonel, eh?" He tossed the girl an apple, loosening Cel at his belt, the four-pronged spear ready for quick use. Why is she not arresting me? Or pelting me full of bullets? What's the deal with the tank? Am I that high priority, or are you showing off? And why aren't you arresting me?

Jay had to grin, as she caught the apple, biting into it. "Haha, Colonel indeed! Surprised you haven't heard of me; I like to think meself as the mayor of little ol' Kanama. Kanama kid, born and raised. I can tell you're a local, so you knows how it is. As for your bout of infamy, it isn't often Amestris is plagued by an alchemical theif; just so happened you were in my jurisdiction, and you'd oughta be grateful too, lest you been caught by Niko, or Dai, or ,heavens forbid, AYDEN. They'd have all either captured you (mainly Dai...) or killed you on-spot (Ayden and Niko, of course!) But today's your lucky day! 'Cus you're stuck with me!~"

Seeing him reach for his weapon, she casually pinned to end down to the ground by her automail hand, impervious to injury, with an impish grin. "Silly boy~ Trident-thing versus minigun, unsunderable 20-molecule edge-thin katana, and a laser staff that can demolish a Cretan armory in a single shot?~ Odds are slim, buddy~" Moving on then, she decided to get to the point, casually retrieving a hip flask from her hip, taking a long gulp of sweet glorious booze. "Ahh, good stuff. And the tank is for neither; my Ferrari's at the shop, the hood-missile system is jammed, had to have it fixed~ And maybe a little showing off. Won it in Drachma, y'know? Took downa whole squad of the Commie vodka-swillers to get it, too! War-time rewards win big-time. As for why I'm not arresting you? Let me tell you a tale of one Colonel Johnson Mustang, of no relation to THE Colonel Mustang, of the century before this one.

So, Johnson was in charge of Amestrian special forces in Certa, bordering Creta, a while back, four years ago to be exact. Back then, I was a mercenary, on a vendetta to avenge my family, yadda-yadda blah. Well, he found out about my work, and you know what he did? He could've arrested me. I was fourteen, had been a killer for four years, lots of kills and lots of evidence; you'll find a sack of severed heads buried under the old ash nine miles off from the dirt road near the gun shop. But you know what he did? He hired me, of all people, into a crew of eight, a special forces squad to combat Creta at the border of the once-disputed city! But for you, I'll do less; I'll let you off with a slap-on-the-wrist, a goodie bag, and a fistbump." And as she wrapped up her mini-speech, she tossed him a small brown paper bag, containing within it 600,000 Cenz, a diamond wristwatch, and two blunts of the finest Esparian hash. She then held up her organic fist, awaiting the fist-bump of awesomeness.

Varod laughed. Hard. "Well, isn't this interesting," he said with a shrug. He took the things and examined them. Tossing the drugs, he immediately slipped on the wristwatch. "Don't worry, just a precaution. I don't intend to actually use this. I just like having it at the ready." Looking around, he noticed people beginning to stare at him. It didn't particularly bother him, though.

"Yeah, I've heard of you, but that doesn't mean much of anything. I never knew you were a colonel, but there were jokes on the street about how there was a fake furor going around," he told her with a shrug. It's completely amazing luck that I'm an alchemist, really. It got me here. Shrugging, his hand twitched in his pocket as he heard the scrape of a boot behind him.

Spinning, he saw a man trying to pickpocket him. Shaking his head with a small Tut tut, he kicked the guy who scurried away half-whimpering, clutching his side. V sighed as he turned back to Jay. "If they're gonna get caught they need a new line of work. So, now what?" He returned the fist-bump

Catching the tossed drugs, Jay grinned. "Suit yourself~" Watching as he put on the watch, she gave a light laugh. "I see you come prepared, then. I'll let you have it at the ready, then~ Though I have several thousands rounds per minute ready in case you do anything too far out of line~" She watched then those that were staring. Calmly standing, she entered Kastka through the hatch, turned the cannon, and blew a tree into ashy oblivion, as onlookers' jaws dropped. Over the intercom-esque system of audio, she let it be known, "CITIZENS, RETURN TO WHATEVER YOU DO. OR HEADS ARE GONNA ROLL." To further her point, she clicked on her CD player over the loudspeakers, playing the Judas Priest song of that name, "Heads Are Gonna Roll", as she calmly left the tank, returning to his side.

"Haw haw, fake Fuhrer~ I'd been told often to become Fuhrer, actually, to be Fuhrer Furor. Sadly, Chancellor Furor doesn't hold the same charmant ring to it. But yep, I am a Colonel, and a skilled hand in areas of your side of the tracks." A discreet-ish mention of her pimp status, drug dealing, assassinations, and illegal arms sales. Not to mention jaywalking! But he wouldn't catch the details, only the main point, which was that she was rather illegitimate in her work sometimes. Speaking of that area of expertise, some silly fool tried to rob the guy, who responded with a kick as Jay burst out laughing. "Well that's certainly one way to do it!"

Varod looked at her with interest. So, she's not exactly what would be considered a good guy, Varod thought to himself curiously. "Well," he asked curiously, "What would you have suggested I do? Eat him?" Shrugging, he popped his neck. Don't worry, I usually have my means of defense at the ready. Do you mind if I...ride in the tank? His eyes went wide like a little kid's. He'd read about the inside of a tank, but never actually been in one.

Pretty please? His entire mind switched from thinking about apples and whether or not he would be arrested to the different switches and levers it would take to make such a massive thing move properly. I've never even read about one quite like this! This was a completely different side of him. Normally sarcastic and a bit of a jerk, he'd switched completely into a curious young man who wanted nothing more than to entertain his constantly searching mind.

"Hahaha, nope, but if you would have, that could've proved interesting too!~" His next few sentences, she found to be amusing, at the least. He kept staring at the tank before, for a few seconds at a time, and now he was steadily looking at it for a few stunts of time, and he was asking her to go joyriding in a gargantuan Drachman vehicle of mass destruction! In fact, she was one of a select handful of Amestrian militants with a proper license to drive a tank! Regardless, it would be COMPLETELY reckless and irresponsible to let him go for a ride in such a complex, powerful, machine. What if he took hold of the turret, for example!? The cannon was built with collateral in mind! There was a reason the tank was called "Kasatka" by Jay, romanized Drachman for "Killer Whale!" She would MOST CERTAINLY not let him...

" Dibsondriving,yougotshutgun!" ...Drive it? Well, that's kinda responsible. Almost... And she made a quick das over and climbed in through the hatch, offering to pull him up the side of the tank if needed.

Varod looked around, going down memory lane. It was nighttime, and the police were searching for him. Sitting atop his hideout, he looked out over the city, seeing people going about there business, cops banging on doors, and tanks driving on the street. Either they're after me, he thought, or it's some kind of demonstration. He doubted they were after him, so he relaxed atop his hideaway and stared up at the stars.

Coming back to the present, he smiled at Jay and shook his head. Utilizing one of his transmutation circles, he rushed up the side of the tank, using his Air Running technique to give him a slight boost. Dropping into the hatch, he laughed. "Okay, now what? What are we going to do with this massive tank now? There's plenty you could do...like...explain all of this to me?" He sounded brutally like a kid in a weapons store.

Well, while it HAD been rather nice of her to extend her hand to help him aboard, he then displayed why he was one of the elite thieves of Amestris; running towads the tank, Jay could feel the wind shift ever so slightly, and anticipated his jump fully. As he landed neatly into the hatch, she grinned at him. "Well, that's not on your papers. I guess I'm one of a fistful of alchemical analysts, ne? So I take it you use your momentuum and amplify it with your alchemy, by manipulating the force and direction of the air around you? Or, to be more precise, you can give yourself a super-epic wind-boost?" Ah, those good old days, not more than a year ago, of training with Ilona, her master in all the arts of the mercenary, but moreso, the arts of a great hunter of alchemists; Jay was, perhaps, superior in skill to a fine percentage of the Esparian Inquisition, when it came to understanding alchemy, reading transmutation circles, and predicting the effects of activating them. Not to mention combatting alchemists! Actually, if her mother and many of her friends hadn't been alchemists, that would have been the job for her to have chosen.Then again, she'd have never met Ilona, an alchemist, who TAUGHT her how to fight alchemists! So confusing! Anywho, she let her mind return to the tank.

Speaking of the tank, Jay took hold of the controls, flashed a grin at the boy, and pressed forward, charging headfirst into the streets! "WHOOOOOOO~ This babe's sexy, ain't she?~ Finest piece of Drachman machinery I've ever driven! In fact, it's the only piece of Drachman machinery I've ever driven."

Varod looked at her, impressed. "You almost got it right. I do manipulate the air, but it's more like making a small explosion by expanding the gas. It sounds a little on the complicated side, but it's pretty basic to tell you the truth. Manipulating the force and direction is actually much more complicated, so I just do the basic: make it splode." He liked that word, "splode." It sounded funny.

Chuckling to himself, he looked at all the controls. "So, I'm assuming this works like the throttle... And then- WHOA! Why are we driving this thing on the road? Hell, is that even legal?!" He sat up straight and held on as cars honked at them. "Holy mother of chicken Jesus, this probably isn't too safe, is it?" Ha! Safe! Legal! This, of course, coming from a thief who leaps across rooftops. Safe wasn't exactly something he was accustomed with. But that was besides the point.

As he explained her alchemy, Jay slowly nodded in that 'oooohhh yeeeeaah' style nod thing, as she took note of that. "Aaah, okay. Hehe, I got close enough!~" Reclining slightly in her seat, she chuckled softly. "Ah, all you alchemists, you all remind me of my old teacher... Ilona, better known in mercenary circles as Lilith, though she never went by the name, bad memories and such. Taught me how to combat any enemy, she did, even countering certain alchemies, and fighting blind. Good times..." She reminisced to herself (was she reminiscing already? Yeesh, she thought, I'm only eighteen, and already an old ho with surprisingly sexy breasts for my apparently elderliness!) as the boy beside her spoke idly of the controls at first, thinking them out, and then she had to laugh at his panic and concerns.

"Oh, calm your tits!~ Of course it's legal; in addition to my licenses to drive a regular car, a motorcycle, and a plane, I ALSO carry my Class H on me every day. With this baby in my wallet, I could drive this anywhere I want, and TECHNICALLY, I could do that anyways; it's a friggin' tank, who do you think would be stupid enough to stop it!? I mean, besides me, when I stopped it in order to massacre the crew and steal it." And as she ended her sentence, it was then that she heard car horns. HO-HO? THEY WERE HONKING HORNS AT HER!? Nope. Haha~ She flipped a switch or two and gunned on the throttle, sending the tank moving a full forty miles per hour. She then turned the cannon behind her and blasted a powerful shot beside a honking car's front tire, causing no damage, but a nice pothole, and causing the car to swerve off-road and to end the honking. Heehee... Problem solved!