Emergency Ice Cream!

"Rufio Rufio Rufio Rufio! This is terrible!" Alder's purple eyes grew large and round in pure terror. Poor lad was almost crying. "Rufio, Rufio, we're out of ice cream!" Alder whimpered at the realization, it was horrible. No ice cream? What was this shame? Alder actually didn't even like ice cream THAT much though, but he NEEDED it now. Now, if it they were out of waffle mix that would have been a whole different story entirely! Which probably would have involved someone calling the police...

So Alder did the only thing Alder knew to do. He had a conniption fit, grabbed Rufio's wrist, and began to drag him down the hallway. "Come on! Come on! We have to go! It's an EMERGENCY!" Alder was yelling now, his voice rising in the urgency of the matter. This was just...absolutely terrible. Oh and they'd have to pick up some pickles while they were at it. It seemed weird to add pickles to ice cream but Alder had learned from another certain pilot that it wasn't that bad - it just made the eater seem pregnant or psycho. Yes, Alder was pregnant. o-o

Alder didn't even stop to worry about whether or not Rufio was dressed or had shoes on, it didn't matter! This was a serious emergency! As Alder dragged Rufio down the street, he noticed a site up ahead. The store was there! They were almost there! Only another block or two. They were gonna make it! Yes! It was only then that Alder realized he had ran right past someone he knew! That black curly hair and shades looked kinda familiar. Now came the debate, tackle his buddy or continue to the ice cream source?

Alder stopped suddenly and sprinted back the way in which he had came. "TSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Alder yelled excitedly down the street and literally flew at her in a psycho tackle glomp of friendship and craziness. "Oh my gosh Tsu haaaaiiiiiii~ I haven't seen you in...in...I don't know but HAI!" Alder grinned from ear to ear and commenced to squeezing the pilot. "Oh! Oh yeah! This here is Tsu. She's a pilot for Gelemort like I am! I command her! Muwahahahahah~ Alder laughed heartily and slung an arm over Rufio's shoulders. "And this awesome dude here is my bestest buddy ever, Rufio!" Alder grinned with his eyes closed in pure glee as he waited for his friends to greet each other.

As Rufio shrugged on his pants he decided that today was going to be a nice, peaceful day full of simple relaxation. Maybe he and Alder will go for a picnic, who knows. All Rufio knows is that today is going to be a good da- "Rufio Rufio Rufio Rufio! This is terrible!" Annnddd...there goes that idea. With a sigh and a smile he reached for his shirt, as he looked over at Alder, and saw his eyes slowly filling with water he sent him a questioning gaze. His silent question was soon answered.

With a small chuckle he reached up to pat Alder's hair right as his wrist was grabbed. "Alder what-" he didn't even get a chance to finish his question as he was getting dragged down the hallway and out of the house. Not even having a chance to lock it as he was dragged down the street. Sometimes Rufio worried about Alder and the state of his mental health. Other times he realizes he doesn't care and just goes with it. Its funner that way after all. He was just glad that, although he didn't have a shirt on, he managed to put some pants on. He'd really rather not get cited for public indecency again.

Allowing Alder to lead the way without protest he started to find himself get lost in his thoughts. The fact that these thoughts were of the explicit variety involving him and Alder is not important. Closing his eyes he started to bask in the nice sunlight as he enjoyed the warmth radiating from the hand holding tightly onto his wrist.

Feeling the slightest bit of hesitation Rufio peeked a eye open about to voice a smart remark as Alder sharply turned back and started yelling what sounded like "sue" at the top of his lungs as he attacked some chick on the street. Oh no wait. He's not attacking. He's hugging. Totes knew that. Paying half attention to his introductions, he tried to decide how he should feel about this chick. At first glance she seems pretty awesome, and she appears to be close with Alder but...meh.

Feeling an arm wrap around his shoulders he smirked and wrapped his own arm around Alders waist, giving him a wink. "Damn straight I'm awesome." Turning to look directly at this "Sue" or "Tsu" or whatever's chicks face he gave her, what he hoped was, a nice smile and a wink. Taking her hand and giving her a, COMPLETELY PLATONIC, kiss to her knuckles as he gave the best salutation he was able. "Sup. Names Rufio."

Vanilla-bean ice cream,white in color, amazing in flavor? Check. One jar of sweet pickle chips, each with a distinct crunch and sweet and sour taste and texture? Double-check. Plastic spork? More checks than Lion Forest, the famed professional playa and positively plum-scented peeyimp, has seen in his lifetime. Which is a lot of checks, if you don't ACTUALLY care about golf. Unlike most sane people, who closely stalk their personal least favorite golfer, and try slicing his brakes. Discreetly, of course, so the fuzz don't get no suspcions. Erm, Tsu's Saturday morning plans unrelated, she currently had everything she needed for a nice day. Ice cream. And purkles. And a spork. Yummy. Good.

And as she was walking home, alone, by her lonesome on the mean streets of the bean meats, nary did she EEEEVEN paaaay attention, but soon, she noticed that she was not where she had been, but rather, was where she wasn't before, but currently happened to be. She was also on the ground, with a certain blonde-haired dumbnuts hugging her, very much like a smelly dog, who happened to have found a football it didn't feel like eating at the moment, and was therefore hugging to death first. "NO, NO, DON'T TOUCH ME THERE, THOSE ARE MY NO-NO SQUARES!" Presumably, her rather surprise-induced Klingon rambling was actually intended to say something along the lines of "I WILL CASTRATE YOU WITH A BROKEN SCISSORS, IF YOU DO NOT IMMEDIATELY PERFORM OPEN HEART SURGERY ON YOUR SPLEEN." Because y'know, Klingon swag and such. Just how they roll.

"Oh, it's just you. Psh. Don't tackle me like that, you psychotic walrus. That's just plain weird, yo." OBVIOUSLY, because she took her own advice to heart so well, she flipped the tackle, pinning him briefly to the ground, and licked his ear, before leaping to her feet and allowing him to stand. She then turned to the other man, who kissed her knuckles. ODD. WHO KISSES KNUCKLES? THAT'S EVEN WEIRDER THAN TACKLING A WALRUS OR WHATEVER SHE'D SAID MOMENTS AGO. "Yo-ho-ho, and a fifth of Smirnoff! Name's Tsuritsa Cooper, but please, call me Tsuritsa Cooper9, or if you prefer, Sly Cooper, but if that's too much to remember, Tsu does splendidly as well." To add merit to her greeting, she NOT ONLY gave him dat dur Star Trek hand thing, but she stepped up on her tiptoes, kissed both his face-cheeks, and gave him a firm slap on the other cheeks, before turning back to Alder.

"SO!~ Aldy!~ I just want to inform you that you ruined my dinner. Not with your face or anything, like ruined my appetite, I mean. I mean, you caused THAT." She then gestured with her fingers at a pile of spilt vanilla ice cream, already melting because it conveniently landed in someone's campfire nearby, because screw da meta, a busted jar of pickles, and worst of all, a plastic spork, shattered into four deadly-jagged shards. It was atrocious... "So you, she leaned in and booped his nose, before adjusting her shades with a grin. "owe me res-tee-too-chan!~ Or restitution as the non-hicks call it, and suchnot."

"Oh, it's just you. Psh. Don't tackle me like that, you psychotic walrus. That's just plain weird, yo. Alder grinned like a madman. "I'll have you know, I'm the best looking walrus you'll ever meet! Alder winked just before Tsu reversed the attack and pinned him to the ground. "Eh! Don't lick me thar!" Alder's face went red as she licked his ear. She wasn't allowed to do that! That was something only Rufio was allowed to do. Because you know, bromance and stuff. Thankfully she was off of him quickly and Tsu wasa having her knuckles kissed. Tsu then gave him her little introduction. "AND SHE'S A FIGHTER PILOT!" Alder yelled happily, how could she not mention that? He then held up his own hand in the treekie thinggy. Trekkies~ Of course Tsu then had to go and smack Rufio's cheeks. All of them. That was very called for?

"SO!~ Aldy!~ I just want to inform you that you ruined my dinner. Not with your face or anything, like ruined my appetite, I mean. I mean, you caused THAT." Psh. Alder smirked and leaned in closer to Rufio before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Hey now, there's still time to change that~ Hahaha!~" Alder just laughed as his gaze traveled to where the ice cream had fallen into a campfire. Where the hell had that campfire come from!? Well this was Gelemort. Land of the insane. If that hobo wanted to have a campfire in a public that was totally normal and perfectly acceptable.

"So you," Alder blinked in confusion as she booped his nose. "owe me res-tee-too-chan!~ Or restitution as the non-hicks call it, and suchnot." Alder stuck out his tongue at her. "Ehhhh. Fine. Hurry up! This is an EMERGENCY and we need to go RIGHT NOW! Else wise we might DIE! And Rufio would never admit it, but he'd miss me like hell~ <3"

"Yo-ho-ho, and a fifth of Smirnoff! Name's Tsuritsa Cooper, but please, call me Tsuritsa Cooper9, or if you prefer, Sly Cooper, but if that's too much to remember, Tsu does splendidly as well." "What only a fifth?" Smirking at her, Rufio returned the trekkie greeting a bit hesitantly as he tried to drive down the craving for a mango daiquiri. Not a day goes by that he doesn't curse his love for girly cocktails...but they're just so good! Anyway, feeling the firm slaps to his behind Rufio couldn't help but grin at her with a wink, "like the way they feel Cooper? Nice and firm. Feel nice to your hands don't they~" Mannn, Rufio was good, barely 5 minutes of meeting this chick and she had already fallen for his mad sexy body. Good thing he's already got an interest, or else he might've tried to seduce her...or whatever it is what he does is called.

Speaking of interests. His just gave him a kiss on the cheek. Rufio really hoped his ears weren't turning red, as they often did when it came to PDA with Alder. Leaning even closer into Alder he started sliding his hand down into the pocket of Alder's jeans pocket, hrm, giving Alder's bum a nice squeeze.

Growing slightly bored he tuned out Alder's and Tsu's conversation. Looking around their place on the sidewalk he noticed a hobo scrambling with some icecream and a campfire. ...What? What even...meh, don't care. The country was strange, so very...very strange.

"..And Rufio would never admit it, but he'd miss me like hell~ <3" Hearing his name being mentioned, Rufio briefly snapped out of watching the silly hobo and turned back to listen to their conversation. He quickly guessed what Alder had been talking about and lightly pinched Alder's behind, such a silly boy. "Stop being so dramatic. Of course I would, miss you that is, its none of anyone else's business whether or not I would admit it though, them bishes ain't got no right knowin' them things." Annnddd...there's that accent. Rufio swears it's getting stronger...the stupid thing. Not even bothering to comment on how Alder specifically said "less than three" out loud, he simply pulled his hand out of Alder's pocket and grasped onto his hand. Preparing for Alder to drag him around again. Cause he just knew it was coming. But whatever. It's cool. Not that he would admit it, but he enjoyed getting dragged around by Alder on his mad quests to find things.

Pfffffffft. Totally untrue. Tsu had seen many a walrus in her lifetime, and Alder was, at best, a five and a half. MAYBE a six. If she was feeling particularly nice that day, that is. Disregarding his walrusness for a moment, Tsu laughed as he told her not to lick him, and grinned. "Psh, if you don't want to be licked, stop tasting like waffles." After zis, she had gotten up and had introduced herself to Rufio, when Alder chimed in with her occupation. INDEED!~ SHE WAS A FIGHTER PILOT. BUT NOT JUST A FIGHTER PILOT! "Psh! Do you EVEN lift!? But besides that, I'm much more than AAAAAAA fighter pilot! I am PILOT!~ ZE GREEN-EYED MADMAN OF ZE CAPITAN'S TEAM!~ FOR SNIPPY IS BUT SURELY A SHOE, HAHAHA!~ Disregard." Logic. Tsu had just stabbed it in the throat seven times, set it on fire, and punted it through a stained glass windshield. Quite ouchie, honestly, but hey, it was only logic. Nobody likes Logic anyways.

Moments later, in response to her beauty introduction, Rufio decided to respond responsively by responding with the following responsive response; respectively, a rather random "What, only a fifth?," recieved right after a rather rapeable smirk. "Why of course just a fifth! A fifth bottle, that is~ And might I say, fine sir, yo face looks sexy, and I'm slightly tempted to rape you right now? NO OFFENSE, ALDER, I MEAN~ Besides, you could toats join in." Rather blunt about things, she was, as people never got anything accomplished in life with subtlety. Like ever. Because subtlety is only for really lame lamers that do lame things for lame reasons. Because they're lame.

Tsu grinned, with a rather carefree laugh, as he responded rather casually to her groping of his buns. "Nice and firm indeed, haha!~ Aldy, you seem to have got yourself a hottie, hee-hee-hee~ Though not quite as hot as myself, y'know. He's like, a 9.5, I'm toats an 11/10. Like, obvious for reals." With a laugh, she struck a pose, and winked at Alder, obviously teasing. Psh, she didn't want either of them, haw haw haw!~ ONLY HER AAR-AAR-POO. Anyways, then she pointed out to Alder that he had completely ruined her snack, and were life an RPG, there would have totally been some Hobbity music, followed by the fancy little message saying "TSURITSA COOPER HAS JOINED YOUR PARTY~"

And then ALder told HER to hurry up? Haw haw haw, nowai! "Psh! You made me have to go with you, and now you wanna make a girl rush!? Where's your chivalry!? Where's your manly pride!?!? Actually, I just remembered that those are lame things, and I'm getting hungrier by the second. SO ONWARD WE GO!"

"Psh, if you don't want to be licked, stop tasting like waffles." Alder struggled away from her quickly. "Oy woman, no licking me!" He then ran behind Rufio and leaned over his shoulder. "No licking me!" Alder then stayed behind Rufio as he listened to Tsu's little speech thinnggy. Alder just blinked and leaned forward to tap her aviators. "Your eyes are red..."

"Why of course just a fifth! A fifth bottle, that is~ And might I say, fine sir, yo face looks sexy, and I'm slightly tempted to rape you right now? NO OFFENSE, ALDER, I MEAN~ Besides, you could toats join in." Alder grinned and offered her a thumbs up. "Consensual rape party!~" Then, to intensify the moment Alder hummed a quick tune and spun around quickly before jumping into the air. "Tsuritsa Cooper has joined the partyy~ Woo~" Because apparently Alder can read every mind except for his own.


""Nice and firm indeed, haha!~ Aldy, you seem to have got yourself a hottie, hee-hee-hee~ Though not quite as hot as myself, y'know. He's like, a 9.5, I'm toats an 11/10. Like, obvious for reals." Alder giggled in a very manly way and snuck an arm around Rufio's waist. "Psh, you're just jealous Tsu, honey. I love you too." Alder skipped forward quickly and kissed her cheek before returning to Rufio's side. "But don't get too jelly, Ruffy, I love you more~"

"Psh! You made me have to go with you, and now you wanna make a girl rush!? Where's your chivalry!? Where's your manly pride!?!? Actually, I just remembered that those are lame things, and I'm getting hungrier by the second. SO ONWARD WE GO!" Alder wasted absolutely no time in grabbing Rufio's hand and taking off down the street. "Okay on your mark...get set....go!"

Jealous. Rufio totes wasn’t jealous. Sure his little Alder had gotten licked but he’s fine. Perfectly fine. Not jealous at all. Just ignore it. Forget it. Everything’s fine. Yes. Good. Okay. It was ignored. Never happened. Excellent. “ Psh! Do you EVEN lift!? But besides that, I'm much more than AAAAAAA fighter pilot! I am PILOT!~ ZE GREEN-EYED MADMAN OF ZE CAPITAN'S TEAM!~ FOR SNIPPY IS BUT SURELY A SHOE, HAHAHA!~ Disregard.” Was that a reference he just heard. A reference to what he’s too lazy to say. But it was indeed, a reference. At that moment it was when Rufio decided he didn’t like her voice. For no apparent reason at all. Jealousy. He has no idea why. He’s jealous. It’s just one of those things. Totes jealous. Best not to linger on these things.

In case it wasn’t apparent, Rufio was jealous. But that’s not important. What is important is to continue acting like a nice sociable person that has no qualms with this chick. Okay? Okay. “ Why of course just a fifth! A fifth bottle, that is~ And might I say, fine sir, yo face looks sexy, and I'm slightly tempted to rape you right now? NO OFFENSE, ALDER, I MEAN~ Besides, you could toats join in.” That smirk is back. If Rufio’s not careful that sexy little thing is going to freeze on his sexy little face. Which would be bad. Maybe. On one hand he’d be constantly ravished by everyone…and on the other he’d be ravished…hrm. Oh wait. What’s going on? Oh yeah, he was having a conversation. Why thank you my good woman. I am quite aware of my rapably sexy face, and I am ohsoglad that you are now aware of this fact as well~” “Consensual rape party!~" “Rape party? Ohhh this sounds fun~ All for this idea, I am, but later, for now…we must ADVENTURE!” That is…it sounds fun as long as it’s just him and Alder~ Cooper can watch. Oh, and Rufio so did NOT just yell “adventure!” like they do on that show featuring a human and a dog. He so did not. Because that is uncharismatically-unsexy. So yeah. He totes didn’t. “ Tsuritsa Cooper has joined the partyy~ Woo~” With a snort and a slight chuckle Rufio pet Alder’s head, “You are not about to turn our “adventure” into a Final Fantasy game.”

“ Nice and firm indeed, haha!~ Aldy, you seem to have got yourself a hottie, hee-hee-hee~ Though not quite as hot as myself, y'know. He's like, a 9.5, I'm toats an 11/10. Like, obvious for reals." To which Rufio simply replied with a snort and an eye roll before seeing Alder bounce up to her and kiss her cheek. Annnnddddd…the jealousy’s back. Or it never left. Who knows. What is known is that Rufio is starting to reallyyy dislike Tsu. Or something. "But don't get too jelly, Ruffy, I love you more~" . Rufio wrapped his arm around Alder’s waist and kissed his jaw, “What, me? Get jealous? Pshhh, as if~ Jealousy is such an unsexy trait that I so totally do NOT have…” Lies.

With that his wrist was grabbed and he was getting pulled down the street in a manner that he saw coming. To which all Rufio could do was chuckle slightly and manage to keep up. “Okay on your mark...get set....go!" “Great now running is happening. Just. Wonderful.”

Tsu laughed a cheery laugh, always cheery, that one, so cheery she probably only drank Cheerwine, or more accurately, Cheerwine-flavoured Faygo, all like "CHEERS!~" with such cheery cheerful cheer, it was cheery. Too much cheer. But no matter, either way, she laughed. "You so lame, Aldy. Many people would pay me money to be licked by dis tongue! True story, bro." Even if it really wasn't much of a true story at all... Though most true stories aren't really all that true, but sti- HOLYCRAPHEWASTRYINGTOTAKEHERSHADESOFF. Before he could successfully do much more than tap them down slightly, so as to peek down and see a bit of rarely seen red, she flailed at him, all out-of-characterness and such. "AHHHHH, HOLY FRIGGIN VIOLENT J, PICKARD, AND MARIO, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, ARE YOU MAD, BOY!?" Double-blinking, though behind the mirror shades that steadfastly clung to her face, nobody could see it anyways, she quickly regained her composure, with a cheerful smile once more. "Welp, that was a close one, Aldy. PROBABLY not a good idea to touch the shades, y'know; last person who tried to pull them off died in a car crash from a cut brakeline, after he was locked inside the trunk of the flaming car, which happened to be going 230 on a busy freeway!~ Which was complete coincedence, but I also shoved a chainsaw up his arse, and he had to get mad stitches." Sadly, she was not kidding... At all... Ever. Much. BUT NOT THIS TIME~

But anyways, moments later, after things were less awkward and such, Rufio was quite polite and gracious and such with the compliments she had given him, and she was indeed thinking along the same thought line as Alder, as well. "Just remember; it's not rape if you yell surprise!~" Words never spoken better. Quite a positive role model, Tsu was, teaching the small little men about the wonders of rape ACTUALLY just being the surprise sex you never knew you actually wanted. But she did quite agree with Rufio; t'was time for an adventure, not at all time for sexy tiem. "Quite a fair point, broski. VENTURE ONWARD!~"

And so she stepped forward, in valiant valiance, pointing towards... Somewhere. "ONWARD!~" But intead, she turned back around, more focused on their conversation, really, than actually going on an adventure to the store to make a purchase of snack items. At which point, Alder called her jealous, to which she laughed, waving it off with one hanbd, like people do sometimes. Rufio snorted and rolled his eyes, OBVIOUSLY agreeing with her. Her, jealous? Psh. Nevah! "Pee-shnaw. Like I want you and yo face, Aldy. All I want is my Aar-bear, and his sexy butt." Even though Aaron WAS most likely computersexual, or at least, showed no interest in women at all, ever. Psh. he was in denial. A CLOSET HETEROSEXUAL. He wanted her body, and she knew it!~ Even though she probably didn't really want him anyways, despite her flirting and such; it was mostly just to tease the poor lad.

Totally ignoring the kiss on the cheek, she watched as he bounced over to Rufio, telling him not to be jealous. Which was a perfectly good advice, since there was really nothing to be jealous of. While Tsu WAS fairly amoral, she could totally respect an existing relationship,a nd would only intervene with such in the event of a sexy three-way, but psh. That's mostly just because she could. "Yeah, I toats wouldn't picture you as the jealous type, Rufio's honeynut cereal-person! Most unsexy trait, yo face wouldn't be able to have it. I can tell, I'm a level 69 paladin/wizard on WoW. Truefax."

Right, now was the time to take off for the store! Tsu grinned as Alder zoomed off with Rufio in tow, as she shouted, "ONWARD~ FO REELZ DIS TIEM, I MEAN." At that, she engaged power-skipping mode, and quickly caught up with Alder through the magic of SKIPPING!~ Because skipping is magick.

"You so lame, Aldy. Many people would pay me money to be licked by dis tongue! True story, bro." Alder shrugged, a grin plastered on his face. "Maybe earlier on, babe, but I'll pass for now. I have my lil Roofie~" Alder laughed happily and gave Rufio another kiss on the cheek. There was never a time where there were too many kisses being given. So maybe the random civilians and the hobo thought he was crazy to be loving on another guy, but pssh this was Gelemort. And that was a good enough excuse for PDA.

Alder then tapped at her glasses and she started freaking out. Good grief, crazy psycho lady was scary. She started blubbering out random numbers, very quick alternations of 1's and 0's. Was that like binary or something? Alder ducked behind Rufio, grabbing his hips so as not to fall over. "Rufio, save me! I ALWAYS KNEW SHE WAS A ROBOT! Kill it! Kill it with fire!" Alder just continued to cower as Tsu splurted more random languages. It went to little grunts and clicky weird sounds and then to some other language before changing back to the wonderful language he could understand. Alder grinned VERY suggestively and winked at her. "Maybe I'd enjoy that~"

"Just remember; it's not rape if you yell surprise!~" Alder shook his head and waved a finger in disapproval. "It is then called Grape. Because it's rape with the whole grey area of whether or not you like it. And the grey area is made up of very many shades. Like...49 plus 1 or something really close to that."

"Pee-shnaw. Like I want you and yo face, Aldy. All I want is my Aar-bear, and his sexy butt." Alder smirked again and winked, trying to hold back a little laugh. "It ain't my face that you want, honey." Of course, Alder was joking with her. Like he wanted her now that he had Mr Rufio sir, but it was still fun to flirt with everyone and everything. Of course, he had no intentions of courting, but he also had no idea that poor Rufio was the jealous type.

"Yeah, I toats wouldn't picture you as the jealous type, Rufio's honeynut cereal-person! Most unsexy trait, yo face wouldn't be able to have it. I can tell, I'm a level 69 paladin/wizard on WoW. Truefax." Alder once again kissed Rufio's cheek. He had a very tasty cheek. It was all soft and Rufio-like. "Yeah, Roofie here would never ever get jealous, cause that's just silly~ He has nothing to be jealous of. 'Cause he's stuck with me now." Alder then giggled, in a very manly way, before clutching Rufio's hand "Also....sixty nine~ Heeheeheeheee~" Because Alder wasn't THAT stupid to miss that.

And then, away he went! Like a hare or a turtle on steroids or something. Racing down the street, yelling in fear at people that were in his way. They must have thought he was like crazy or something because they would jump right out of the way. They must have assumed it was a horrid emergency, as the fear plastered on their own faces was quite obvious. Alder continued running the distance that would place them at the ice cream store before promptly slamming on the brakes, nearly falling forward at the sudden halt. "We're heeeere!`"