Human Touch

Hikaru felt at peace once more. Ever since his journey to south and meeting Gotthard the pair had returned to central and settled into a routine. It almost felt like playing house...Hikaru would wake feeling Gotti's presence around him and would fall asleep still talking to the ghost. The ghost had certainly found himself a home in Hikaru's heart. But he could feel the pain the other was in at times. And..it hurt him too. Stuck between worlds. His loved ones on the other side but unable to be seen or touched on this side. Forced to follow the other around as Hikaru helped the unfortunate without charging a penny. It must of felt worse then the cage his father had trapped him in.

He devoted time not spent with patients reading book after book on a way to bring Gotti back to life....He knew he was selfish, out of the possible fixtures for Gotti he preferred to keep the other with him. The times he scolded himself for thinking how much he didn't want the other to go...his companion...the one who was so devoted to his side. Hikaru had never been so selfish before. Of course Gotti would rather be with his family friends and girlfriend.... He had listened to the ghost talk about them often. Yet he never once looked at a book for a way to help Gotti pass on. He had picked up one which once he reached the page he threw it away as if it burnt him and sobbed into the large kimono sleeves like a child who had been denied a toy.

Morning song birds pulled him from his thoughts as he looked down at his now cold tea. The cup across from him also cold...not that it was surprising. He always pours Gotti a cup of tea too when he made himself one. He sighed softly standing piking both up and pouring them in the small sink he had. "What a waste...." He murmured to himself wondering if the ghost was nearby or playing with the electric keyboard he had gotten the other for christmas. He had to thank him. Finally being shown how to use the plastic card his father had given him he was able to access the funds that had built up quite a bit. food now was no longer an issue. He had actually brought a small building instead of a roughly put up shack and refurbished. A little home for himself and Gotthard. He was glad he didn't have to charge for his survives or even request food. Some people still brought him things as thank yous. It hadn't helped Hikaru had developed quite the sweet tooth now. Taking a liking to cream buns with chocolate or icing on top. With a sigh he washed the cups up and put the kettle on to reboil. "Gotti...I'm brewing some more tea if you like some?" He called wondering where the ghost was.

There was warmth and light, like a brilliant sunlight reflecting on the water of some faraway sea. Gotthard had only been to the sea a few times, but he had loved it, even if most of the Cretan beaches were rocky and cold. But the light was like that, and calming, as though it were the reflection of peace. It was nearly blinding. In a way it reminded the musician of the vast white nothingness where he'd met that thing. That thing mirrored his own voice, knew his secrets, and mocked him before it spat the boy back out into a world that was no longer his own.The fact that it reminded him of that was frightening. Was he dead? well, Gotthard knew he was dead, but was this death for the dead? Was he finally free? But... Hikaru! Who would look after Hikaru if he left him alone?!

Confusion dotted against the sleepiness of tranquility as Gotthard looked around, and suddenly saw nothing but a small pool of water and a man. Well, what he could loosely interpret as a man. He was tall. Taller than what seemed appropriate, and frighteningly thin, his thinness underlined only that much more by the pillar-like robes that hung from his nearly skeletal frame. A long, bony hand pointed toward the water, black eyes staring through the entirety of Gotthard's soul and holding him prisoner.

"LOOK HERE," the man commanded. Without moving, the pool was suddenly at Gotthard's face as though he were kneeling. Traveling without moving; the one part of being a ghost he'd never get used to. "YOU ARE NOT MINE TO TAKE. YOU EXIST AS I DO, BETWEEN THE WORLDS. AND YET, YOUR BODY LIVES IN MEMORIES STILL IN THE WORLD." Gotthard looked into the water's quicksilver reflection. He could see himself. Green eyes, and uneven blonde hair that needed a trim. His shoulders and chest were there, and the fitted muscles of his arms that often ached from hours of playing, and the pristine, manicured nails that were kept short but beautiful. Gotthard was there, just as he remembered himself, and just as any of the last existing photos and online videos of his performances would have shown him.

"What is this," Gotthard finally breathed out, his words frightened and strained though no breath passed his lips. "Why are you showing me this?" He'd seen the man's eyes and knew better than to ask who he was. Gotthard knew; a spirit's calling card was always in their eyes, and this man held power over most things in the world within the balance of nature. And yet, Death had no power over Gotthard because he existed outside of that balance. Gotti looked to the reflection again, unsure if seeing himself made him happy or sad. He held tightly to his memories, but seeing them so vividly...

"I CANNOT GRANT YOU LIFE, NOR DEATH SO LONG AS YOUR EXISTENCE HANGS BETWEEN THE WORLDS. BUT, YOU ARE BEING GRANTED A GIFT. A SINGLE DAY THAT WILL REFLECT THE YOU THAT LINGERS IN MEMORY." Gotthard blinked. A single day to reflect the him in memory? The hell was that supposed to mean. "USE IT WELL."

Holidays had never meant terribly much to Gotthard. They were nice and all, and it was much more fun spoiling his sister, but the feeling was often so hollow for him as a young man. And now, what was there to enjoy? The trace-like haze subsided, and for a moment Gotthard felt surely he must be going mad. He couldn't dream. You needed to have a body that needed sleep to dream, and that was so real. Had he really been elsewhere and talking to Death himself? But how could he when he was in Central with Hikaru? Ugh, the world was so fuzzy this morning and hurt to try and make sense of it all. maybe he was just going mad, or worse, might cease to exist.

NO. No, Gotthard refused to let himself cease to be, even though he had no idea what he was. Death had implied he wasn't dead and was between worlds, but what options did that leave? Gotthard looked around. He didn't remember coming out to the garden... Maybe he really was losing his mind. The morning sky was above him, and the flowers around. It was a small back yard, but it was enough to content the ghost, and having Hikaru with him had made leaving South easier. Gotthard seemed to be laying down as he perceived it, and willed himself up. Nothing happened. He went through the steps in his mind. The back pulled at muscles and moved his body upward as he would have in life. And that's when he felt an odd weight from the "motion;" there was resistance in it. There was weight.

"Gotti...I'm brewing some more tea if you like some?" He could hear Hikaru's voice from the kitchen. He was looking for his ghost, and making another beautiful cup of tea to be wasted. He hadn't crossed over, or he wouldn't still be hearing Hikaru, would he?

Gotthard blinked several times. He was sitting in the grass. Sitting. On his butt. Pale legs contrasted heavily against the green, and slowly, Gotthard pushed himself to stand. Needless to say the teenager was very, very puzzled as he seemed to be very much tangible, have mass, and rather nude. "I think I've finally snapped," he murmured, his voice nearly squeaking. Slow, wobbly, heavy steps plunked across the short distance to the back door. Fingers wrapped around the handle and pushed the button as he let himself in. Gotthard was going mad, had convinced himself there was a body, and was going through the motions as though he had one. Oh God, poor Hikaru! How would he tell him that his ghost had lost his mind? The plunking steps continued as the door shut behind him, Gotti standing in the kitchen.

Hikaru was standing there, morning light caught in his hair as he washed their teacups. Hiku... He was the sweetest thing, and saving Gotthard in so many ways. Even if he had a hard time admitting them, there were many nights watching the healer sleep that Gotthard thanked some remaining fibers of mercy in the universe for letting Hikaru find him. No breath passed Gotthard's lips as he stood there, silently watching Hikaru. "Hiku," Gotti said quietly, his voice very nervous as his hands raised up slightly. "Hiku, please don't freak out, but... I think I'm losing my mind, and taking insanity into account, I'm going to ask..... Can you see me?" Gotthard half-hoped that Hikaru would say no, just as he'd said so many times before, because that would tell the ghost that he was just going mad. But at the same time.... he really hoped that his madness was contagious and that they could both see him.

The healer stood watching the kettle heat up the water in as he placed new tea leaves in the cups. Hearing the door open he smiled softly. "One moment please I don't normally see to patients this early." He turned to see the ....very naked person standing in his kitchen. A slight blush dusted his cheeks but he kept his eyes looking up from the rather handsome blonde in front of him as he headed to the washing pile. A simple robe he kept for patients lay on top of the basket. Quickly inspecting it for blood he held it out. "You must be-" "Hiku," He blinked. The man sounded like Gotthard. Did he not sleep enough last night? "Hiku, please don't freak out, but... I think I'm losing my mind, and taking insanity into account, I'm going to ask..... Can you see me?" His eyes widened as he dropped the robe. The soft whistle of the pot behind him boiling over signalling the water for tea was ready. "Gotthard?" He asked as his eyes shakily roamed over the other's face.

Take a step foreward raising his own hands to cup the cheeks of the taller. Though he had to tip toe to lean close. "That's...you...Your alive." His voice sounded unlike him. Strained as he felt tears on his eye lashes clinging to them. "Your alive...." He whispered again but then he noticed he didn't feel the pulse under his fingers. There was no pulsing of life blood under his fingers and his world crashed round him as he slowly lowered so he wasn't looking at the others eyes, His hands still on the other's cheeks. "I....how?" Was all he could say as he tried not to let the bitter dissapointment tear him apart.

Soon He had Gotti sitting down at the table with the robe on him as he poured the now lukewarm tea and searched for clothes. He couldn't be selfish....He couldn't let the dissapointment show and upset Gotti...This was worse for the other. "Luckily one of the ladies near by gave me some of her sons out grown clothes....telling me I should stop dressing so strangely..." He laughed smiling and placing a pair of jeans, a band shirt and a hoodie on the table for Gotti...of course with underwear. "Talk about lucky...." He swept some of his long blonde hair behind his shoulder watching the other closely. Hoping the other didn't go into shock...if he could.

"Gotthard?"

Oh please don't freak out, PLEASE don't faint... Gotthard's mind was racing, green eyes watching Hikaru intently, silently praying that either this was some disturbing dream or that Hikaru not freak out. Hikaru stood there, shock written all over his face and dripping from his shaking voice. The kettle on the stove was beginning to boil, but all of Hikaru's attention was on the rather nude blonde who had suddenly materialized through the front door. They'd had some rather special patients, but for all the time Gotti had been helping out, he'd never seen a naked person just walk right in. It was certainly the strangest way to spend a holiday, though so far it was by far the most exciting and puzzling to date.

A whirlwind of emotions danced in Hikaru's eyes before he finally put a brave step forward toward him, Gotthard still terrified but glad that the step was toward him and not running away. "That's...you...You're alive." Gotthard looked himself up and down quickly, disregarding his state of undress to look at himself again. It was his body, just as he remembered it. Hands shot up, cupping Gotthard's cheeks as his own hands swiftly moved to hold Hikaru's slender hands in place. He could feel the pressure distinctly; it was real, and tangible, and beautiful. But... the warmth. Gotti knew there was warmth, and felt something, but he wasn't sure that it was truly the warmth of Hikaru's body heat. Burning tingles pricked his flesh but caused no sensation. "You're alive...." He could feel Hiku's breath against him and could equate the confusion and elation in his eyes to a sudden symphony like waves breaking against rocks, until those eyes lowered. "I....how?"

He had been quiet, he knew. Gotthard was just as confused as Hikaru, and silently terrified. He was real and tangible, but he knew that he wasn't alive; he could feel that much. Like a living puppet. "It is me," Gotti managed at last. He let his hands move off from Hikaru's to let them rest on his shoulders before wrapping around the healer's back, encircling him. "But I... I don't know!" His arms tightened around Hikaru, pulling him close in a tight hug as Gotthard let his face bury itself against Hiku's neck and shoulder. He was shaking slightly and wanted to cry. He didn't know. So many things, Gotti just didn't know. Was he happy or sad? Was Hikaru happy or sad to see him like this? Gotti was scared and shaking slightly, but his body wasn't alive, so why was it shaking? Just mind over matter? Was he just a projection of mind over matter? Was it all a dream?

That dream... Gotthard let go, almost timidly, almost afraid to let go and realize that none of this had happened. But when the world didn't vanish and he still remained, Gotti stepped away and picked up the clinic robe, quickly tying it around him. He was beyond thankful that Hikaru hadn't freaked out yet, or rejcted him; HIkaru was the only person in the world Gotthard would honestly be able to say he trusted fully and cared about, and if he'd run away... The fear and confusion were all over the musician as he tried to hold himself together, if only for Hiku's sake as he finally sat down at the table as Hikaru tried to sort steps in his own mind. Gotthard resumed being quiet, distantly staring through the table. He wasn't Death's to take because he existed between the worlds, but other than life and the afterlife, what was there? That white place with that thing? But what was that? WHO was that? And how could it be above the laws of nature?

A cup of tea was poured for Gotti, the blonde not entirely aware but at the same time hyper-aware. Things had textures and weight; the table was smooth and flat, but the wood grain itself had no contrasting texture. Was it always like that? Gotti's hands wrapped around the mug as though trying to contemplate heat and translate it to himself in the same way one might try to explain a rainbow to a blind man. Things were there, but muted, and left him to wonder if he'd even feel pain if he held his fingers over a burning candle. Would he feel pain, would his flesh even burn? Or would he just... exist? The neglected tea was lukewarm as it steeped in the cup, Hikaru rummaging through donations to find clothes. "Luckily one of the ladies near by gave me some of her sons out grown clothes....telling me I should stop dressing so strangely... Talk about lucky...."

Gotthard pushed up a faint smile. Hikaru was being... incredible. It was amazing to Gotti just how well he was taking this, even though they were both avoiding the white elephant in the room. Clothing was piled onto the table, a wrinkled old Selig shirt on the top. Unbreathing, Gotthard sat, hands wrapped around his mug of tea as he nodded. He'd go change in a minute, but his mind was still reeling. He wasn't breathing, and it was a good thing or he may have hyperventilated by now. In life Gotthard had never been so passionate about science as his friends, but now, he was compelled by curiosity and lifted the cup. The sip was tentative. Gotti remembered the motions of drinking, and the texture of liquid, but at the same time it was like feeling them for the first time. Fragrant liquid filled his mouth, neither cool nor hot, and he held it there before swallowing, almost telling himself what it was to swallow. What WAS it to swallow? But... The tea had a taste to it, floral and sweet. The cup was pulled away in sudden surprise, Gotti staring at it as though it would bite him. "It's... it's good..." He put the cup back down gently, looking up to try and catch Hikaru's eyes. "Thank you, Hikaru."

Hikaru always poured him a cup of tea before, but this was the first time he'd ever taken a sip. Gotti always thanked Hikaru for the gesture before, but this was the first time those two little words had held so much meaning. Quietly he grabbed the stack of clothing and padded to the bathroom, dressing, mystified as he touched himself. He felt the pressure, but no warmth. The clothes were a little big, but they would do fine as he came back out of the bathroom, again lost in thought. "One day," he said, not even sure he'd said it out loud or loud enough for Hikaru to hear. He stepped close to Hikaru, shy almost. Did he look as Hikaru had hoped he would, or did his true lack of life disgust him entirely? "Well... What... do you think?"

His cheeks stilled burned from the embrace...His heart racing was something he didn't understand the reasoning. He watched as the other drank his drink with an uncertainty. Then held the cup away from him suddenly. Worried it burnt or the taste...."It's... it's good..." He couldn't hold back the small laughter to himself. "Kawaii....." He said softly behind the palm of his hand. Smiling back as the other thanked him. "I'm glad you liked it."

As the other changed Hiku pulled on his tengu hat. Stepped into the getas that looked so impossible and placed a closed sign on the clinic door. Today...Today was Gotti's day. He finished just as the other stepped out. "Ah they suit you." He placed his sword on his person. "I taught they would look right on you...Lucky she gave them to me." With one last click Hiku was ready. "So I shut up shop, today is your day....what shall we do?" Taking a few paper notes to tuck into his wallet which he placed into his top away from sticky fingers. Today would be a beautiful day a soft warm sunshine with some clouds. Truly a gift from the sun goddess for Gotti's special day.

The rumpled hoodie sat baggy over Gotthard's slight frame, the blonde lost in his own thoughts as the echoes of the dream still clung to his eyelashes that hadn't existed last night. Of all the presents he'd ever been given or hoped to give, of all the things he'd ever fathomed in life, borrowing the shell of a body was not high on that list. Everything is possible, his friends had once told him; everything was possible, however, their plausibilities were what varied. Miracles were scientifically improbable, like turning air into gold, and yet, here he was, sitting at the table in donated clothes. Even if just for this moment, Gotthard was real. He wasn't the echoes of a lost soul that vanished with a whole city years ago, nor was he the imaginary friend of small children or the comforting angel of death who sat at the bedsides of the dying. Gotthard Tanzer was real, and sitting at the table with the only person left in the world who really mattered and knew just how badly the musician wanted soemthing like this to happen. It was a miracle.

Near-cold tea was sipped down steadily, the bittersweet taste of sugarless tea flooding his mind that buzzed with nothing but questions. Did the tea taste like this, or was he imagining the taste from what he could remember? "A day that lingers in memory," Gotthard murmered, placing his empty cup down gently into the sink. He'd been told to use his day well as Death couldn't collect him or return life to him, so perhaps it really was only a temporary loan. But at least it was Hikaru he was with; a more scientific person would feel better wasting the day testing and poking and prodding rather than enjoying the gift Gotti'd been given.

"Ah, they suit you," Hikaru said, interrupting the storm of Gotti's mind, Gotti having to bring himself out of his own thoughts that were too used to being left alone to think.

"Hm? Oh, right. It was lucky. They're a bit big, but it's certainly better than running around in a bathrobe, or staying naked." Gotthard watched Hikaru as he fastened a sword, the strange bird-like hat crowning his hair. It was a ritual of dressing Gotthard had observed many times in staying with Hikaru that, until now, had held little significance. Yes, they were only clothes and accessories, but now they were real, just as he was. Well, a bit more real than he was, but real enough that he could touch them and satisfy whatever curiosities came to mind.

Hikaru moved to put a littel money in his wallet, finally ready to leave. "So I shut up shop, today is your day....what shall we do?" Hikaru had closed shop for the day. Given that it was a holiday the chances of his services being needed weren't too likely anyway, but it was rather rare that Hikaru actually turned the sign to state CLOSED. Even when they were closed in the middle of the night, Hikaru wasn't one to turn someone away if they needed help urgently.

The faint smile held the corners of Gotthard's mouth, even as uncertainty hid in his eyes. Today was his day, and it could be filled with anything. "Not much will be open because of the holiday," Gotti replied, slowly zipping up the hoodie. "But we could walk around and see what is... I know for sure one thing I want to do today. Something I promised I would do for you , but... today's your day too. It wouldn't matter if I could touch things today if you weren't here to enjoy it with me." Gotthard's voice dipped almost into a quiet mumble as it tailed off at the end, his eyes shooting down to his feet at the worn shoes that had been broken in to fit someone else's feet. It was true, though; if he'd been alone, it wouldn't have mattered if Gotthard had suddenly reincarnated as a unicorn that cured cancer; nobody else really knew the ghost the way that the healer did, and as such nobody was left to care about the things anyone else took for granted. "I do want to play for you... But what would you like to do?"

"Not much will be open because of the holiday,But we could walk around and see what is... I know for sure one thing I want to do today. Something I promised I would do for you , but... today's your day too. It wouldn't matter if I could touch things today if you weren't here to enjoy it with me." Hiku was thankful his sleeves were so big as h hid behind one to hide his flushed face. why was his heart suddenly pounding so loudly. Gulping and fanning himself he gave the other a smile. "It's your day Gotti...but let's go..we can't waste it idly chatting."

The air held a slight chill to it as the pair walked along the streets. IT felt odd walking with the other when he was so.... physical. But in itself it was pleasant. Somehow ending up in the park nearby the small clinic that the pair called home. "So...is there anything you miss from before?" Hiku asked wondering if his dearest friend was craving a certain food or activity he had been unable to do as a ghost. Sitting on a nearby log and observing the other with soft azure eyes he wished this was a regular occurance... simple days with his partner...partner

His face flushed red at the taught as he quickly hid his face. He hadn't meant it like that... Gotthard was a friend a close friend who was a business partner...his guide to the modern world...he silently cursed Gotti for showing him how a tv worked telling him it was a good way to wind down. He also damned his new addiction to soap opera's and cheesy romance films. Suddenly feeling uncomfortable in the park he stood. "Actually i bet you miss being social right?" He chocked his head hoping Gotti didn't notice his embaressment. "I bet there a christmas market or something in the center..." His stride was quick as he headed to the park exit that would take them the short walk to the city center.

Stepping out into the air felt strange, but at the moment, everything did. There was a chill clinging to it that was refreshing, but Gotthard wasn't cold at all, even in just the hoodie he was wearing. Gotthard walked at Hikaru's side, looking at the world with a newness he couldn't fathom, like he'd never seen the sky before. Trapped as a ghost he could see everything just fine, but to see it and move under it... and know you're actually moving and not just willing yourself forward in some eternal existential puzzle. There was sound beneath his steps, and Gotthard couldn't ignore it. These things were all so common that nobody ever paid attention to them. They were things every living thing took for granted. It was wonderful.

There wouldn't be much open, but at the moment, Gotthard didn't care in the slightest. He was here and moving and with Hikaru in a tangible way. He'd got his fondest wish; the only living person who he could say cared could actually see him and touch him. He still didnt' understand what it was he'd been gifted with or how long it would last, but for now... best not to worry about that. As hikaru sat on the log nearby, Gotti leaned down, picking up a dried leaf. Such a little thing. It too had once been alive, but even in death it still held beauty and substance. Did the leaves of the trees possess energy as he did? The elaf drifted away from his fingertips carelessly.

"So...is there anything you miss from before?" Gotti paused, thinking about Hiku's question. Anything in particular he missed? How could he narrow it down when the antisocial boy was finding that it was the whole world in and of itself that he'd missed? He stood still a long moment, thinking, before running a hand through choppy blonde hair."I'm not sure," he finally answered. "To be honest, there's so much I missed, I really don't know where to start. I'm really just enjoying being here with you."

Abruptly, Hikaru stood, cheeks slightly pink, but then again it was chilly and he could actually feel it. "Actually i bet you miss being social right?" Social? Gotthard? He was a show-dog, but he failed at being social, really... "I bet there a christmas market or something in the center..." The Christmas market? Gotti thought about it. The holidays had always been a time to be dragged around, give concerts, look nice, and do well. He'd never really had the chance to enjoy them until after his sister was born, and even then, holidays were an endless parade. But going to the market with Hikaru sounded rather fun.

"Sounds like a plan," Gotti said, his steps quick and light, despite the slight weight against the ground. As they entered the city's center, Gotthard could hear the buzz of people everywhere, and it made him wish he'd brought his violin; impromptu concerts were always a fun thing, especially when people were in a happy mood. Gotti paused at the start of the public area, a thought coming to mind. "Hiku, lend me your phone a moment?" He knew he had a long way to go before Hikaru would be an ace with the mobile phone, but at least he'd gotten the basics with him down. However, this idea was something special. "I didn't realyl get you anything for the holiday, so... I'd like this to be at least a part of a present."

Gotti easily tapped through the keys, turning the phone's camera on. Wordlessly, he tugged Hikaru close to his side, almost cheek to cheek, and held the phone up above their faces. "Smile." With a click and a tiny buzz, the phone had snapped a picture of the two of them. The only photo of Gotthard Tanzer since before his death that didn't exist solely online and in old YouTube videos. Even if Gotti wasn't smiling brilliantly, there was a faint smile there with his cheek pressed up next to Hikaru's, hard green eyes contrasting against gentle azure. A simple little picture of the two of them together was a present for Hikaru that Gotthard knew would mean something more than any trinket he might find. He turned the phone around to show the picture to Hiku as he handed it back to him. "I'll show you how to get to it whenever you like." He fidgeted, looking away, knowing what colour his cheeks would probably be if there were blood to rush to them.

"Hiku, lend me your phone a moment?" Hiku blinked once or twice before handing the item from the inside pocket to gotti. IThad taken the other some hard work convincing the blonde to buy the horrid device. Saying it would be easier for the healer's father to contact him. The first time it rang the other had throw it across the clinic with a scream.

"I didn't realyl get you anything for the holiday, so... I'd like this to be at least a part of a present." Blinking in confusion once more was only stopped when the other tugged him close. A loud squeakof surprise passing the other's lips. The tengu hat flew off his head releasing his long hair that flew behind them as he found himself pressed to the other's side. Cheek pressed to cheek feeling the warmth of the other.

"Smile."

Smile....smile he couldn't help as his lips curled up revealing soft whites. His hands gripping onto Gotti's hoodie for surpport so he didn't fall. "I'll show you how to get to it whenever you like." He smiled holding the phone close to his chest.

The rest of the afternoon was spent cruising the market. Scoffing down food to the point the healer felt sick.

Sucking slightly on chocolate covered strawberries as he lent slightly against Gotti the healer felt content. His companion was here...real... see-able and toucherble. "It's getting dark...there closing the market too...." he mumbled round a mouthful of chocolate fruit.

(sorry it took so long....my laptop is a bitch)

Ordinarily Gotthard had a hard time with the concept of time anymore because it was relative to him, since he, being intangible, couldn't realistically experience time and only observe it. Time existed by proof of things aging in one way or another, and you could see its passing in the death of all life forms and the movement of the world as the sun and moon did their daily dance. But for Gotthard, time was still, and something to be observed by a third party. It had no meaning to him, and so what was an hour was the same as a week. Moving forward in time meant about as much as moving sideways or back since he couldn't actually move. He willed himself from place to place with no actual concept of motion, and often had to force himself not to think too hard about it because it was a quantum puzzle far bigger than the dead composer could really sit down and make heads or tails of. Assuming that he moved by will alone and only perceived the concept of movement by the remnants of his human mind; and concluding that the ground he hovered over, left, and moved to was like all ground anywhere and he could be anywhere; at any given point it was safe to say that Gotthard was, in fact, everywhere all at once. He only perceived himself to be in one location as a focal point.

Except for today.

Today was a rare and inexplicable gift that would likely never come again, and Gotthard had, in turn, given that gift to Hikaru in his way. Even though he couldn't feel pain, heat, or cold, and he was half-convinced he only tasted things out of memory, the simple fact that for today Gotti was able to touch things and actually walk rather than walk through them was amazing. Today, time had tangibility and meaning, and the passing of the hours were actually precious because something was nagging the back of his mind that this was only a temporary reprieve.

The holiday market was buzzing with life. Smells, sounds, children playing, and best of all, Hikaru. The way Hikaru smiled... Gotthard had never seen the healer look so genuinely happy, and that simple phone picture was something he knew Hiku would treasure, even if he had a hard time pulling it up. Maybe he'd walk Hiku through plugging the phone to the computer and he'd just hack the email and see about getting the picture printed. Maybe he could find a nice frame before they left...

Hikaru was contentedly munching chocolate-covered strawberries; something Gotthard had loved in life, and used to share with his baby sister, even if it meant she wore more of it than she ate. Sometimes it was hard to be happy when every happy memory had something sad attached to it. Even today. The sun was going down, and sooner or later, today would end. He didn't know what would happen. Would he just resume being a ghost, or would he finally be forced to cross over? It was sad and unsettling, and Gotthard was pushing the thoughts aside to enjoy what was left. He would fight whatever he could to stay with Hikaru and in the world. "It's getting dark...there closing the market too...."

Gotthard nodded, rising from his seat and holding up a hand for Hiku to take. Grumpy and argumentative and stubborn as he could be, Gotthard was a gentleman through and through. "You're right, we should head home," he replied softly. Home... It was home, wasn't it? He couldn't think of any place he'd rather be. Keeping close, Gotthard took slow steps with Hikaru, savoring the last of the market as people were beginning to thin out, but as they passed under a decorated archway, Gotthard halted. "Wait...?" He looked up above them at the bundle of mistleto, not moving, and then let a soft, sincere smile cross his face. "There's one more tradition I want to introduce you to that I don't think that have in Aerugo."

Hands placed on Hikaru's shoulders, Gotthard's cheeks would have burned bright if there were blood in his body to do so as he pulled the healer close once more. Without warning, one hand moved to between Hiku's shoulders as the other moved to cup his cheeks. There as no hesitation, only the sudden movement that led to stillness as Gotthard closed the gap between them and lingered. Hikaru was only the second person the composer had ever kissed, and no token of affection from him was ever shallow or casually meant; Gotti either liked you, or he didn't, and if he cared about you, very little could change that. Slowly, Gotthard pulled away, saying nothing, but smling still. "And for now... Can that be your other present?"

There sudden stop had confused the samurai. Soft Azure eyes blinking blonde lashes against pale skin flushed by the soft nip of winter. he wondered if the memories of his life before was overwhelming his companion with nostalgia. Not that Hikaru minded waiting for the other. The normally unseeable companion could have all the time in the world to enjoy the body he had been gifted.

"There's one more tradition I want to introduce you to that I don't think that have in Aerugo." Even more confused he stared up as the other pulled him closer. The world slowed as Gotti cupped his cheek and closed the gap between them. The pressure of Gottards lips on his own surprised the younger samurai. The boy who had been locked in a prison of cherry trees with only three other people in his life was new to this. Sure his father and nanny had placed affectionate kisses on his cheek or brow but...his lips had never been claimed. fingers grasped at The shirt of gotti's chest for there brief kiss as Hiku's cheeks flushed and his eyes slipped closed.

And soon it was over. The musician moved away and left the aerugese to stand there with a puzzled expression on his now flushed face. "And for now... Can that be your other present?" with Gotthard's question the other could only nodd. lips still tingling.

Hikaru had been quiet as Gotthard had asked him one last request before they went home, and dead silent as Gotthard dove headfirst into something bigger than them both. He'd kissed Hikaru, right out here in the open air where everyone could look. But let anyone over 16 look; Gotti doubted there was anyone here at the market that would even recognize a boy who died years ago or care that he was kissing someone as beautiful as Hikaru was. He fidgeted. Gotti had never kissed a boy; never even entertained the idea for any of his life or afterlife. But he couldn't deny how much he cared about the Aerugese healer or how much Hiku had come to mean. It was more than just his company. It was Hiku's own caring and compassion, and all that was good and beautiful about him that made him beautiful as a person. It didn't atter that he was a boy; Gotthard loved the person he was holding near to him.

Had there been blood in his cheeks, the singer would have been crimson, fidgeting in Hikaru's silence. Should he not have kissed him? Was it wrong? Did he not like it? Looking away, he bit his lip, wondering if he'd just ruined something wonderful. No... No, Hikaru nodded that the kiss could be his other present for now. Fingers still cupping Hikaru's cheek, Gotthard finally looked back to Hikaru. "Hiku...? If we wake up tomorrow and this was all a dream... If you want... I'll start trying to find a way back to you, like this." Hikaru hadn't slapped him, and he hadn't cursed him, run away, or told him not to come home, so Gotthard braved another kiss, this one sweeter and lingering, not wanting to pull away or wake up.

He didn't know how he could possibly keep that promise- what was lost was forever gone, wasn't it? And yet, Gotthard still remained. All of South was gone and just a memory, and maybe that's what Gotti was now- just the living memory of South, the memories that nobody else was still alive to hold. But if there was a way to come back to life somehow and maybe solve the riddle he'd been given about not being Death's to claim and yet not alive, maybe he could push himself to one side or the other and return. Maybe now in the death of Gotthard Tanzer's wasted life, he had finally found a reason to live.

Of all the gifts Gotthard had ever been given in his life, few rivaled this one gift that he never expected in his afterlife. In life the ost meaningful ones had ever been from Kessie, and then Melinde. Gifts from his parents were nice, but often just gifts that they thought he'd like or felt obligated to give, or felt were useful even if the boy had no interest in them. Gifts from fans and admirerers were sweet at least, but few had the same feeling to them. This day was a gift, and if tomorrow came and it was over, then it was the greatest gift he'd ever been given. A single day with Hikaru to hold and spend time with. To enjoy.

To kiss and get a picture of them together.

Never in his life did Gotthard think he'd have ever fallen in love, especially not with another boy, but Hikaru was rather different. It wasn't the long hair or gentility, or even his feminine features in Hikaru's face and eyes that were where the attraction lay. It was something else, something more. Gotthard couldn't put a word to it. He was a singer and a musician, and though he wrote his own songs, the words escaped him when it came to Hikaru and left the boy feeling as though his mind had turned to clay.

The kisses were warm, slow, and sweet. Gotthard loved the feeling of Hikaru's warmth, even though he had none himself in this projection of his body. He'd forgotten how nice kisses were, or how thrilling such a soft touch could be. If he'd had a heart to beat, it might have exploded, buf if you'd asked the singer, he would have confess that he could have died then and there in that moment and been satisfied for the rest of eternity. Hikaru pulled away, showing Gotti something he hadn't wanted to see that day, or ever, really. Tears. Tears often spoiled the nicest things in life. A cold palm cupped Hiku's cheek, Gotti's thumb brushing the escaping liquid away. "No tears..." Gotthard's voice was quiet, the tone almost soothing. He didn't know what tomorrow would bring- if he'd still exist in this breathless body, if he'd resume being a ghost, or if even he'd... stop existing entirely. But no tears. Anything but that.

"I love you..."

Gotthard blinked, his mind racing. Some of the little Aerugese he understood rang out, plain as day and soft as silk. Hikaru said he loved him. Unexpected, but not. A surprise, yet a relief. The soft smile on Hikaru's lips remained as Gotthard leaned up, plainting a soft trail of kisses down the healer's forehead and nose, back to his mouth sweetly before hugging him tightly. "I love you too, Hikaru. More than I can say..." He squeezed tightly. "I promise I'll find a way back to you, to stay by your side forever." It was a promise Gotthard didn't if or even how to keep, but thankfully he had all eternity to find out.